Life's Flavours

Au Revoir 2010, Bonjour 2011!

2011-01-01T22:46:00.004+08:00

Happy New Year!

Wow, it's the year 2011 already.
I honestly don't know how 2010 just flew past just like that, but yeah...it just did.

It's been about 2 months since I last blogged, but I felt like I needed to close the year 2010 with a final blog post before I abandon this blog.
I think it's been a bit of a hassle and a chore the past year to blog.
Don't get me wrong; I love blogging, but it's just that things have really picked up and I've had my hands full with various responsibilities and activities.

Now whether I start a new blog remains to be seen.

Nevertheless, as my final post...I'd like to review how 2010 went for me.
Call it a thanksgiving post, but this will certainly be a lot of that.

2010 as every other year turned out to be another eventful year for me.
I think the best part about life is not knowing what comes next, which can also be the downside of life.
But when you've got God watching your back, you cannot be more prepared than that to face life.

Ups and downs,
Smiles and frowns,
Laughter and tears,
Joy and fears,

I think there were too many moments that is of significant mention but absolutely cannot be listed down, because it'll take forever.
Maybe just a run through of the more significant events...

Started to pursue my final academic qualification in the form of the professional qualification of ACCA.
Met and made new friends whom I cannot be more thankful for.
Went through a personal tough time in life carried over from the previous year (2009).
Grew close with some people and unfortunately, strayed away from a few others.
Had my first road trips just with friends only (Malacca, TWICE).
Started juggling between work and studies.
Took over the Harvest Youth and assumed further leadership responsibilities.

There were a whole lot of other pretty significant events, but suffice to say that there isn't enough time to list them all down.
As always, every year is a journey to discover one's self, and 2010 was no different.

I remember the moments of disappointments, frustration, heartbreaks, and tears.
And yet I remember the many moments of laughter, joy and excitement.

I remember telling myself at one point in time "I cannot wait for the year to end."
And yet I remember at certain points in time when I wished time would have just stopped there and then.

I remember the many moments when I felt so alone, unloved, and unwanted.
But yet, I'll remember even more fondly of the many times God sent people to let me know that I'm not alone.

There's been such a mixed of emotions throughout the entire year, but I know for a fact that if it was not for God...I honestly would not have had the courage and purpose to persevere on.
I think the most important thing for me was knowing that regardless of what happens, God was always going to be there.
And I have to thank Him for His faithfulness in seeing me through yet again another year of craziness.

It seemed at times that I was alone in facing the various challenges of life, but I thank God that He has been faithful and absolutely tolerant of my insecurities.
He's kept the faith in me, and has always been the only person I could turn to when nobody was around.

As I close this post (and coincidentally, this blog) with this final post, I'd like to thank God for specific things...

I thank God for God. There is absolutely no other reason as to why I'm still alive today but for Him.

I thank God for family. Family is something that we take forgranted sometimes but honestly, when some people don't even have family...I have a God-given family who has been with me through thick and thin and have supported me in the many decisions that I've made along the way.

I thank God for friends. I'm one who honestly appreciates friendship a whole lot. The year 2010 was crazy in the sense that I've lost some really good friends due to misunderstandings and mistakes made on my part. Good friends are real treasures that I hold close to my heart, but I've been blessed with a few really good friends who have never left my side regardless of how I've treated them. And I love you guys from the bottom of my heart.

I thank God for new friends. The number of friends I've made this year whilst in ACCA has really added to my joy of 2010. I think this bunch of people are honestly fun to hang out with, despite the fact that we tend to have to 'nerd-up' due to the intensity of the course. Some whom I've grown close to and come to love dearly.

I thank God for trials and challenges. I've had my fair share of them, but they've definitely brought me one step further to my dependency on God and helped play a part in terms of contributing towards the building of my character and maturity.

There's so many things to be thankful for, but I'll stop here.
It's been an awesome year, but I'm looking forward to 2011.
I know whatever happens next, God will bring me through to yet another year as I continue to live this life to fulfill His plans and purposes in my life.

I pray for the best to every single one of you reading this right now that the year 2011 will be one of prosperity, abundance, and a year of awesomeness.

Stay awesome!
God bless.

Happy New Year!

New Year's Eve @ Desa Park City! ACCA-ians for the win!

Ended the year with the people I adore. Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011!

Overload!

2010-10-30T22:43:00.004+08:00

I'm starting to realise what it means to have too many eggs in the basket.
I honestly would not have expected having so much to do so late towards the end of the year and it's almost like a windfall of responsibilities.
Time management is probably my biggest issue and it's probably hitting me that it's about time I grew up and start being the person I'm supposed to be.

Besides the fact that I have my major exams coming in December, there's still
...the HCC youth group and upcoming Christmas events to handle.
...the KDU PAC prom to plan for next year.
...the part time job that's starting in 2 days time.

I'm swamped with work, losing my wits end, and I'm going on a continuous emo streak for the past few days.
I know it can't be good, but I need a way to manage my portfolio of responsibilities and execute my plans and time management accordingly.
I know this can only be the start of me becoming a better person...

Lets just pray I make it out of the next 2 months in ONE piece.

I'll Never Sing Of Love, If It Does Not Exist...

2010-10-14T23:13:00.004+08:00

Men have always been on a quest to find love.
Fairy-tales were created with ideals and perfection as the theme.
Little girls dreamed of "forever" and "happily ever after."
Love was an idea of happiness and a bed of roses.

Of blooming red flowers and boxes of chocolates.
Sparkling jewelry fit for a queen and accessories to match.
Candlelight dinner with music seemed like the perfect evening.
And a dance to end the night, a kiss to seal the deal.

But I don't live in a world of ideals.

Being open means unnecessarily being vulnerable to be hurt.
Never loved for both the good and bad, perfection a fleeting desire.
Selfish personal needs always prioritised above compromise and love.
Broken hearts the common outcome, buckets of tears flow endlessly.

Regret, disappointments, and disbelief the obvious emotions.
The meaningless endings that are compounded by reality.
Who's to say that the scars and reminders will ever go away?
When love has become a taboo and a luxury only the optimists can dream of.

For me...
I'm tired of being impulsively optimistic.

It's time to bask in God's unconditional love.

Faithful You Are...

2010-10-13T23:55:00.002+08:00

A statement used to ring in my mind...

"When nothing makes sense, look to God."

But now I realise one thing...

"In everything good or bad, look to God."

More now than ever.
Tomorrow is a better day. : )

Let Go And Let God!

2010-10-07T00:18:00.003+08:00

Gah!
Bleargh!
Ugh!
Pfsh!
And any other expressions of frustration.

Past few weeks have been pretty frustrating.
When you're given multiple responsibilities, every little thing decides to divert from the initial destination.
It can be frustrating deciding what to do, which to tackle, and how to go about it.
But I've learned a thing or two when faced with circumstances that are unfavourable.

1. Stress is a result of poor time management. Proper time management, and most of the time things tend to fall into place.
2. Life will only become more complicated, and it never becomes easier.

But my biggest lesson, is this...

You either let circumstances overwhelm, overpower, and overexert undue pressure on you...OR you can turn to God and SURRENDER!

I'm still learning to let go and let God.

In My Life, Your Will Be Done...

2010-09-15T19:07:00.004+08:00

So many times I have asked God, "Lord, I need Your direction in this. Speak to me."
But then...I've never had an answer directly from Him.
I've wondered for a long time whether I'd actually get to hear an audible voice that tells me straight to the point.
Often I've struggled with the decisions I've made on whether the voice I've followed was God's, or just my own.

But in this week itself, I've learned that God may not speak to you directly...but He speaks nevertheless.
I thank God that He's been guiding me all the way through without me knowing it, every single step of the way...

ACCA just pretty much blows your mind.
You'll never be sure if you'll excel, or fail miserably.
Passing is NEVER a certainty.
If I'm honest with myself, I'll be frank when I say that I worry and fret over my studies, particularly this semester.
But mum made a statement that reminded me of His faithfulness.

"Be confident! God has taken you from your degree to ACCA. He's given you the scholarship to complete this. His favour has always been upon you. Don't you think that He'll see you through the whole thing?"

I realised that I've been looking at the circumstances and worrying unnecessarily.
But I'm thankful...because I know that it is at that very moment that God used her to speak to me and to remind me..."Hey, I'm in charge. Don't worry. I'll bring you through this. If I'm faithful to bring start this work in you, I'll be faithful to finish this work I've started in you."

And I guess there are times when God clarifies things through the people who will be affected by the potential decisions.
This is perhaps more frequent...because I honestly ask God, "Where do I go from here? Should I do this? What do I do next? Is this the right thing to do?"

I've been struggling with something close to my heart, taking the time to look at things in the right perspective, weighing the possible implications of the possible actions taken, and most of all...asking God, "What should I do?"
I believe in every single major decision (or every other decision, if possible) that God's opinions always matter the most.

I guess you could say I was persistently stubborn in regards to this matter.
I wanted to be dead sure that this was the right action to take.
And God amazingly gave an indirect answer to my question and put me back on the right track.
Though no doubt I've denied the facts before me, but an answer like that was a clear indication of what I should do (or in this case, should not do).

I've learned that the difference between going ahead with a decision made on my own wisdom and a decision made on God's direction can be the difference between getting stuck in a sticky, messy situation and walking in His will and achieving great things.
Though as humans most of the time we see things through our carnal eyes and are easily swayed by emotions tend to make decisions that we regret later in life.
But for me personally, if you live for God who knows the beginning and the end...you can NEVER go wrong.

I'll stay true to You, Lord. <3

Friendship Is A Single Soul Residing In Two Bodies...

2010-09-10T23:09:00.008+08:00

This post is again specially ordered by a certain someone.
Due to the special 'order', I've decided to get off my lazy chair and actually get to work on the Malacca post.

WARNING: This post is probably one of my heaviest posts ever in terms of image. So, read at your own risk!

Malacca Food Fest 2010 (26th-27th July 2010)
As the title suggested, a few of us went down to Malacca for a road trip.
We crashed at a dear friend's place, namely...John Sung.
The amount of food we ate was ridiculous, the amount of laughter we shared was insane, and the friendships that I've learned to appreciate...AMAZING!

So, I'll let the pictures do all the talking!
Enjoy!

5 of us met up at Bukit Jalil's bus station and took a bus down to Malacca.

Josh!

Shawn!

Andrea!

Jewel! And yes, that's her real name. : )

And of course, yours truly.

John and his family were truly the best hosts you can ever imagine.
They not only took care of our accommodation, but they drove us around for every single meal and took us on a tour around the city of Malacca. You guys are amazing. <3

The guys.

Goofing around.

Pitstop #1: Taiwan noodles!

It tasted better than it looks.

Pork ribs. Sorry peeps, this was non-halal.

Group picture (minus John).

Next up was of course the famous Jonker Street.

Pitstop #2: No trip to Malacca would be complete without trying the chicken rice balls, though I must say...a little bit OVERRATED!

Group picture again!

Pitstop #3: Dessert, and another specialty from Jonker Street: Durian Cendol!

Group picture! W00t....

And yet again.

Tired yet? : )

Jonker Street's mascot.

The next James Bond?

Stopping by for a drink!

"We were here."

Off we head to our next destination!

Pitstop #4: Lo han kuo. I have no idea how to spell it, but in Bahasa...Air mata kucing.

Smile for the camera.

Free promo! But...it was really really good, and extremely cheap! RM1 for a bowl. It doesn't get any better than that.

Nyeh!

Group picture!

Pitstop #5.

Cendol, again!

Mee rebus!

A close-up view. There was also rojak, but I think you pretty much know how it looks like.

We took a short hike up a hill after that.
More for digestion purposes, and of course...for picture-taking purposes.

Top of the world!

*kicks* xD

At the foot of the hill, they had miniature replicas of buildings around Malacca.

They looked pretty real.

Until we came about.

And this is what happened.

Reenaction of King Kong! xD

At the foot of the hill!

After going through so many pitstops and walking around, you'd expect one to get tired.
But not us...

We headed down to the Portuguese settlement, hoping for a sunset.

I think we were all just really tired from all the walking.

This was supposed to be a possible candidate for a movie poster. Drama much!

The cast?

And then we went crazy.

And everyone had to take a picture with Jewel.

Funny poses.

And even weird ones. The tiredness just got to us.

A decent picture with John!

And an even nicer picture with the sea as a backdrop.

We started acting all silly. : )

The boys had a group shot!

And then a crazy shot!

And finally, a group shot.

And in the future...maybe even a band called "Circumstances". xD

After all the photoshoots, we headed back to John's to freshen up...and then, it was back out again for dinner.

Pitstop #6: Northern Indian cuisine! This was the mutton curry, which was uber good by the way.

Dhail!

With naan.

Some spinach veggie thingy.

The sauce for the next dish...

No idea what this was, but overall...everything tasted like heaven.

Woo hoo! Brinjal!

Group picture!

Our next stop was the Melaka river cruise.

Random!

Overhead bridge! Sorry, I get excited when I see a lighted overhead bridge.

Lights!

Another overhead bridge!

Another random shot!

Awhh....sho cuteeeee. : )

Pitstop #7: Dessert!

Pitstop #8: Capitol Satay Celup!

The sauce.

Pre-supper.

Work in progress.

Om nom nom...

Enjoying his food very much it seems.

Nothing beats Malaysian food, ei Shawn? : )

That was how day 1 ended.

Pitstop #9: Beef noodles was up for breakfast with meat balls. It was so cheap, I wouldn't have minded bringing back a few packets. Not to mention, it was yummy!

Meat balls!

Post-breakfast, we headed over to the beach.
This time, with actual sand and not just a nice view.

Getting a wee bit excited, are we? : )

Poser-fied!

Group jump shot #1!

Group jump shot #2!

Random shot!

Here's us @ the beach!

Now with Jewel in the picture!

Crazy shot by the beach. A must at every outing to the beach!

Pitstop #10: Our last stop before we headed back home to KL.

It was more rojak, cendol and asam laksa.
Hence, no point putting pictures that kinda look similiar.

This is us on the way back!

Another final shot...

Josh's face is classic! He loved Malacca a whole lot. : )

This was goodbye from all of us...

I think you guys really made this trip memorable.
It's never the activities, but always the company.
I love you guys with all my heart.
We'll do this again soon.
Stay awesome! <3

And if you're reading this, congrats...
You've reached the end of the post.
Thank you for reading.
Stay awesome! <3

P.S.: This post took me 2 hours plus to come up with. A certain someone better appreciate this. xD
P.S.S.: Picture credits go to everyone, especially Jewel, John and Shawn because they were all from your cameras. : )
P.S.S.S.: The rest of the pictures can be found on Facebook.

Trust, Superficially Implied....

2010-09-02T00:05:00.005+08:00

When the autumn breeze blows steadily,
Laughter and friendship abounds,
How we welcomed and embraced readily,
Everything was all smiles, no frowns.

Carefree, ignorance really seemed like bliss,
Taking it step by step, savouring the moments,
I remember hoping that it'll all never cease,
Every little memory, a collection of mere tokens.

Reality has a crude manner of materialising,
Almost too soon, the pretense became apparent,
Inevitably, it all seemed like wishful thinking,
I wonder where we went wrong, where we went errant.

"Trust your heart" they would tell me,
Then I'd lay there disappointed yet again,
Their reply a mere "Hope for the best, let it be,"
Always leading to more dashed hopes and pain.

Everything seems like just another facade, superficial,
Inescapable fact that people will always let you down,
Bound to walk away, I guess you could call it 'typical',
Face reality, ain't nobody picking you up when you drown.

"I've let myself believe" was all I could muster,
Frustrations to vent, a sorry figure trudging down the lane,
Trust a vulgarity, never gonna implode as another disaster,
I live for the audience of One, till my strength wanes.

Some Things Are Better Off Left Unsaid...

2010-08-31T00:25:00.004+08:00

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY MALAYSIA!

Thank You Lord for blessing this country.
I'm counting my blessings, and living in Malaysia...is one of them.
Lets not try to find imperfections today, cause we can find many if we want to.
Instead, today I choose to be thankful for this country that I live in.

As promised, here are some of the updates that I promised.
Due to someone being overenthusiastic for updates, I've decided to do a blog post at almost 1am.
I'll try to do a semi-complete post.
This post will just be on Eternal Reformation's Showcase at Bentley, and the World Cup Finals 2010.

Eternal Reformation's Showcase @ Bentley
Yes, the day had finally arrived.
After months of practices, and countless jamming sessions later...the day had finally arrived.
It was nerve-wrecking, to be honest.
But I thank God that everything went pretty well.
We had overflowing attendance (thank you to my dearest family, church members and friends who turned up) for the showcase and hence...it was a success.

As there's nothing much to say, I'll let the pictures do the talking.
Enjoy.

Remember the name. : )

Here we are.

Intense much.

Tabitha introducing the numbers.

Notice the concentration on their faces. : )

Bust a move.

Ignore the face. It's hard to get a decent picture when the drums is right at the back of the set.

Group picture!

Eternal Reformation! You guys make me proud. : )

World Cup Finals 2010
It was the night of the long awaited World Cup final between Spain and Holland.
Goes without saying, that I've been a Spanish fan since I saw them play a few years ago.
They've been the biggest underachievers up to date.
So, I was over the moon when we caught the match and to my delight...Viva Espanyol!

We went over to Kota Damansara's Sunway Giza to catch the match.
It was just a guy's night out with Dines and Yoga.
Mostly self-portraits, but the blog won't be complete without it.

Viva Espana!

Dines on the laptop.

This was before the game, I assure you.

Started off with ice lemon tea.

Progressed to a bottle of Carlsberg.

And then a whole bucket. Haha, nawh! I'm kidding. Just one bucket between the 3 of us.

Poser much?

Till the next World Cup.

That was about it.
Don't say I didn't warn you about the self-portraits.
Well, the next update will include:

1. Malacca trip
2. PAC's Leadership Camp @ Broga

Till then, have a wonderful week ahead.

Lord I'm Amazed By You...

2010-08-27T01:21:00.002+08:00

Lord I'm amazed by You, and how You love me.

Cause nothing else in this world matters when you have an amazing God who loves you the way you are.
The God who loved the world, that He sent His Only Son to die on the cross that we may have eternal life.
Such amazing love, is beyond me.

How deep...
How wide...
How great...
Is your love for me...

Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You and how You love me

Never Ever Say Never...

2010-08-16T23:41:00.003+08:00

Just one of those days when nothing feels right.
I have absolutely no idea what is wrong.
When it's nothing obvious, it's hard to pin-point what exactly is the matter.
I suppose it's partly due to the progress tests coming up.

They tell me it's just a progress test, but to me it's more than that.
It's always a good indicator of how well I'll fare in the end.
A 3rd party's point of view would seem pretty laid-back in terms of semester stress in view of number of subjects and lectures.
All in all though, I think this is gonna be one of the craziest semesters ever.

Advanced Corporate Reporting is SICK!

No, don't get me wrong.
I enjoy corporate accounting as a subject, but the level of comprehension needed is incredible.
I think I'm losing my mind just sitting in lectures sometimes.

On a totally unrelated note, I'm tired of trying.
I'm tired of wishing.
I'm tired of optimism.
I'm tired of giving people the benefit of the doubt.

I just really need a break away from everything.

'Never' is a strong word.
'Hate' is an even stronger word.
But I've run out of words to describe anything right now.

But God has been amazing.
Graciously, He continues to answer my prayer.
Now, I'll have to pray the same prayer applied to my sub-conscious dreams.

Because I rather use the word 'never' now than to appropriate the word 'hate'.
Not now, not ever.
That's the last line I promised myself I'd never cross.
And I could never hate someone no matter how much I'm being despised.
What more you?

But now, I never ever...

They tell me trust is a lie.
I believe them.

In Black Parades And Masquerades...

2010-08-12T00:27:00.005+08:00

My current addiction: Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are

Procrastination.
Now it's transferred to my blogging habits as well.
I guess to make it up for the lack of blogging, I'm gonna try and complete all the updates which I have promised from the last post.

First up...

HCC Church Camp 2010
The venue was at Cameron Highlands this time round, and yours truly had the experience of driving up for the first time.
It was truly an enjoyable time.
We did not have a special speaker this time, but we had a good time nevertheless.
There was loads of rest and relaxation as promised, and it turned out to be pretty memorable.

So, here are the pictures.

PS: These are only snippets of camp. Too many pictures to upload!

Team building on the first day.

Attempting to cross the bridge.

Mei mei with the goodie bag, which were really good this time round.

I got Brandon to model it for me. : )

There was chewing gum, a mini towelet, body wash, and a lot of other goodies.

Nothing beats going out with good company and teh tarik in Cameron Highlands.

Gamemaster kor kor Rodney.

Attempting to pass the correct message.

Shar Mein! Miss you loads already. Come back soon! <3

Going crazy over the Nintendo Wii.

Afternoon activities at the park.

Pause...and smile.

Notice the *headless* figure. xD

Fooling around. : )

Tea plantation terraces.

Thank You God for creating amazing mother nature.

Take 2.

Mei at the tea plantation terraces.

Me likey.

Stopping by the falls on the way down.

I'll upload the rest of the pictures from Uncle Derrick's DSLR in my next post.
Not many more, but this is it for now.

Father's Day Luncheon
Well, not really.
But a few families headed to Dragon-Star Restaurant for a father's day lunch.
The food needless to say, was amazing.

Han Verh's emo face. : )

Veggie!

Noodles!

Fried rice!

The best dish of all, roasted pork. (Non-halal by the way)

Last but not least...

Uncle Andrew's wedding
We're talking about my dad's cousin here.
Well, I guess he married a little later than the usual expected timing, but he's got a German wife now.
Patience is a virtue they say. : )
Went down to Klang's Tai Thong Restaurant for the wedding dinner.

Awhh...

Wedding cake!

The 'royal' table.

Champagne pyramid!

Here's a better shot of the table.

Tai Thong's menu. Free promo. : )

Mmhm...

Lighted pathway.

Close up shot.

Typical Chinese traditional costume.

Appetizer, as per usual.

Herbal chicken soup.

I think this was my plate of chicken. Ugh, poor camera quality.

Suckling pig. Probably the best among the other dishes. Sorry again for the non-halal food.

Side view.

Steamed pomfret.

Granduncle and grandaunty giving their speech. The groom's parents by the way.

The newlyweds cutting the cake.

Pouring the champagne.

Cheers to the newlyweds.

The groom giving his speech.

Prawns!

Mushroom, brocolli and duck feet if I'm not mistaken.

Steamed rice.

Dessert.

More dessert.

Couldn't resist a snapshot of the decor.

Roses are red, violets are blue...

On the way out, caught a shot of the seafood aquariums.

Lobster!

Whew!
That took a while.
Time to head to bed.
Next updates will be up soon, hopefully.

Coming up...
1. Eternal Reformation showcase @ Bentley's.
2. World Cup Final 2010
3. Malacca trip 2010

Blessed Assurance.

2010-08-02T14:34:00.003+08:00

One day, you're going to have to grow up.
Wake up and face reality not because you want to, but because you have to.
It's so easy to live in denial and run away from facts.

But putting on a facade that everything is okay does not make everything okay.

In life, there are no fairy-tales of happy endings.
Nor is there a journey with no storms on the horizon.
Guarantees are for optimists, promises are temporary.
Uncertainty is a certainty, mistakes are inevitable.

You live a lie if you hope against hope.
If the sky's your limit, then you face a limit.
When you reach for the stars, you hope for the best.
Nothing is forever, and nothing is sure.

But one thing separates hopelessness from hope.
Nothing else provides absolute assurance, except this blessed assurance that I live for.

In God I trust.

Friends, Foes....What's the Difference?

2010-07-23T23:09:00.003+08:00

F - Fantastic
R - Real
I - Interested
E - Encouraging
N - Nearby
D - Dependable

Friends are definitely fantastic. I thank God He gave friends because honestly, the world will be just black and white without them. They add colour into life, and create memories that last for a lifetime.

Friends are real. No, I never had the idea they were an illusion or a figment of my imagination. They're real with you. No lies, no false pretense, and definitely genuinely honest even if it means hurting the other just because they care.

Friends are interested. What I mean by that is they sincerely care for your well-being, and whenever possible checks on you. Definitely one of the harder qualities to find in people, but maybe I'm just skeptical.

Friends are encouraging. I believe true friends will always encourage and bring out the best in you as a person and vice versa. Call it a symbiotic relationship, but that's how it works and there's no better way to do it.

Friends are nearby. This does NOT mean literally in terms of distance and location of house, but nearby when you need them. Probably just a call away, or a message away and they're there when needed.

Friends are dependable. How you might ask? Dependable when you need someone to talk to. Dependable when you've just came back from school/college/work and all you want to do is get a drink. Dependable as much as possible, because that's what friends do.

Note: Qualities of true friends mind you, and not acquaintances.

Honestly, perhaps this issue has been lingering in my mind rather predominantly over the past few days.
True be told, I am tired sometimes of being the listener/consultant, but never the friend.
I never get tired of being a friend, don't get me wrong.
I guess I'm just pretty fed-up of being a one time gig.

This friendship matter has always baffled me and to a certain extent, I never really got it.
Pointing of fingers aside, I may not be the best friend in the world that somebody can have...but nobody's perfect, right?
A never-ending quest to find people who I can honestly say have stuck with me through thick and thin.

Right now, I can honestly think of 2-3 individuals but that's about it.
As I begin to ponder and think further, I realize that the only way of going about it is to be ruthless.
People always tend to be close, and drift away.
And only the 2-3 individuals that come to mind have more or less consistently made the effort to keep in touch.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.
Like they say, "chop chop."
And this time, I can say that in a literal meaning.
This is me, being ruthless. : )

Just Because You Were All Lies...

2010-07-08T23:51:00.006+08:00

It's almost 12am leading to the 9th of July 2010.
Since I have some extra time before I call it a day, I decided that it's finally time to update my blog.
I know the volume of readers have probably reduced to near zero, but this is for the faithfuls.
Updates begin pre-ACCA exams at KDU leading up to today.
It'll be a series of updates, so hang tight.

ACCA exams
As most of you generally know, professional papers can be really intimidating.
However, it gets easier when you face it together with a bunch of people who are equally intimidated and terrified.

Candid shot.

Apparently, newspaper helps in calming the nerves. : )

Meet Evon. She's nice, and a real handful when she goes crazy.

She has her camera-shy moments too.

And then there are the people who lose it.

Meet Courtney. I decline to reveal too much for fear of being clobbered and beaten to death.

A more recent photo taken at 1U.
You guys are awesome, period. <3

KBU Reunion
Reunion is perhaps too general a term, but I met up with my KBU buddies.
Someone needed a lesson in bowling, and we decided to cordially meet up and enjoy ourselves in the process of teaching someone the art of bowling.

Bowling @ 1U.

Multiple coloured balls. = D

Dines consulting with the cameraman a.k.a. yours truly. : )

Giving it a try.

As you can see, he has a fetish for bowling balls now.

Larsson, the other bowling 'sifu'.

Giving it a tight hook.

Shot #2.

Going for goal! Taken by Dines.

Close score.

After which we headed to Wong Kok's for lunch.
Lingz joined us immediately after our game for lunch.

The happy couple. Almost 5 years and still going. Cheers! : )

With Larsson.

Deep fried chicken chop rice!

With their special sauce, and boy was it good. : )

Well, that's all for now.
It's 5 minutes to 12.30am.
Classes begin tomorrow, and a good night's rest is much needed.

Upcoming updates:

HCC Church Camp 2010 at Cameron Highlands.
Father's Day lunch at Dragon Star Restaurant.
Uncle Andrew's wedding.

Stay tuned.
And if you've been reading this faithfully, God bless you.
Even if you have not, God bless you too anyways.
This is Matt, signing off.

PS: Spain is in the World Cup finals! Viva Espana!

If You Knew Better...

2010-07-04T23:33:00.004+08:00

Love is not love if it's not constant.

There are very few people that I could say fit the above statement.
Here's the thing...it never really mattered from the start because it was just a game.
More than words, actions reveals the deepest intentions of the heart.
Anything less, is ludicrous.

You know how they'd always lie...

about always being there but are never there.
about accepting every aspect of you for who you are but turn their backs when the smallest flaws surface.
about happy endings that never really truly existed.
about being the best of friends when they never really bothered in the first place.
about wanting to build something together and to go places.
about how they'll always love you for who you are.

Well, they lied. : )

Staring Down My Road Forward...

2010-06-29T21:23:00.004+08:00

Love goes beyond the boundaries of time or the constrains of circumstances.
You know you've truly loved when love prevails over both.
And for that, I'm truly thankful that I've learned to love despite the odds.
Thank You Lord for making me the way I am.

It's good to be back.
There's so many updates, and a whole load of pictures to upload.
But I promise I'll get to it before the new semester starts.
I've been bumming around, catching up, and pretty much keeping busy with the various tasks and responsibilities that have been on hold since the exams in early June.

Needless to say, I've missed blogging.
This is just a short update to notify that the updates will be up in the next few days.
So, till then...if you've been visiting my blog all this while regardless, you're awesome.
Hang tight peeps. : )

Everything Is Nothing, If I Ain't Got You...

2010-06-14T00:17:00.002+08:00

Argh!

It's been a fairly frustrating day.
I've been in a really nasty mood the whole of today, simply because there's a lot of indirect betrayal and a lot of people who pretend to care, but really in reality do not care at all.

To add insult to injury...

I've accidentally edited my blog design, and now the header just looks incomplete.
Tomorrow is my final paper, P1.
I feel so inadequately prepared, and I dare say it'll be tricky.

Nevertheless, it's my last paper.
And God's favour has continued with me throughout the whole period.
So I'm praying that He'll continue to do the same.
I'll be pretty free right after, so there you go.

Church camp is around the corner beginning 17th-19th of June.
I'll be driving up to Camerons.
Pretty exciting, albeit scary at the same time.
I've got a feeling that this year's camp is gonna be really awesome though.

There are major uncertainties about what's gonna happen in the near future, and I'm particularly worried.
I've been asking God why He's allowed it to happen, but I'm pretty sure that He knows what He's doing.
Trusting Him now, is when it really counts.
So much uncertainty, but trusting Him to work all things for good.

Disappointed, discouraged, annoyed, unwanted...
So much negativity.
Gotta learn to give it all to Him.

Anyways, it's about to hit 12.30am.
I wished I could stay up for the 2.30am match between Germany vs Australia, but exams kinda suck when it comes to timing.
So, I bid you all adieu.

Bring on the paper!

Running The Extra Mile...

2010-06-07T20:50:00.003+08:00

One paper down, two more to go.

Today was my first day sitting for ACCA papers.
It was rather intimidating, to an extent.
Was not really satisfied with the way the papers turned out.
It was manageable, but I could have performed better.

Anyway, can't stay long as there's the audit paper coming up on Wednesday.
I'll admit, my brain's turned to putty jelly...and I'm worn-out mentally.
However, I can see the end of the tunnel now.
So, here's to "going down fighting."

PS: I promise, there'll be pictures and updates when I'm done with the exams.

Facing My Giants...

2010-05-31T22:54:00.003+08:00

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13

I've learned that as long as I glorify God no matter what it is I'm doing, I can never go wrong in life.
It's amazing how I've missed out on this very reason in life.
There have been too many times where I should have perished, failed, and crash and burn.
But it's amazing that no matter how far I've wandered away, God's amazing love always brings me back to Him.

Proof?

1. Excellent UPSR results.
2. Great PMR results.
3. Pretty amazing SPM results.
4. Scholarship for my whole degree program.
5. Winning the national finals for English Business Competition and representing Malaysia in the international finals in Singapore.
6. And now, a scholarship for my ACCA program.

And that's only the major points in life, not withstanding the fact that there are so many other reasons to be thankful for.
No, I'm sincerely not bragging.
I'm not the most smartest guy in the world, nor am I the most hardworking person.
In fact, I can be quite a slacker.
This is all proof that for some reason that I cannot fathom (except the very fact that He loves me), He is showing me His unmerited favour.

I guess it's all pointing to the fulfillment of the prophecies I've received.
Somehow, I can see the trail that is building up to that very point in life.
Whatever it is, things are definitely gonna change.
From now on, everything I do is to the glory of God...and nobody else.
I will not bask in any glory at all.
Cause this person right here, should have been dead long ago.

The point of this post?

No matter how crazy ACCA looks, I'm gonna go all out.
With God, nothing is impossible...no mountain too high to overcome.
If I pass all my papers, it's definitely God.
But even if not, God has His reasons.

Nevertheless, I'm placing my faith in Him.
You can never go wrong (no matter how demeaning the circumstances are) when God is along side you.
Amazing...is all I can really think of right now.

Bring on the exams!

Blanks Stares...

2010-05-29T00:18:00.005+08:00

It is nights like these, that the mind is at its best.
Churning and concocting thoughts that only you were meant to know.
Past the chime of midnight, and silence seems to unfold in eerie darkness.
During this time, thoughts run unfiltered and free from biasness.

You know how both internal and external factors play a huge role sometimes in determining the way things are.
I guess you could say I hate how I'm limited by resources in general, to actually do the things that I want.
Sometimes, I wished I could spend more time with certain people, or accept invitations to certain events/activities.
Due to constrictions, I would normally end up turning them down politely.

In the end, you could say it affected the viewpoints that I never made any effort when in actuality I wished I could.
This in turn probably led to being ostracized and ignored for a lot of things.
And yet I always end up in this same spot, and it was a plain 'me-against-the-world' scenario.
The disappointments that always ensued caused a sense of bitterness, and somewhat aghast at how things turned out.

Suffice to say, I've always had to constantly remind myself to focus on God, the one Person that has never let me down.
For all I know, this could be a repetition (and probably will be a repetition) of this constant struggle that I face.
But you know, I'm just tired of having to deal with this.

The very reason I'm so skeptical...is the many disappointments I've had over the years with various people.
In the end, you're left with a handful of people...a meager amount that a single hand can account for.
I really have no idea how to deal with this, but I'll find a way...God-willing.
So God help me now if I don't find a way to overlook disappointments and create my own appointments in life.
Then again, He is faithful.

I'm done.

PS: A mere 9 days to exams. Dear God...

No illusions, just me and my reflection...

2010-05-20T00:05:00.004+08:00

Quick update.
God continues to be awesome, showing me His unmerited favour...
Passed my P1 mocks paper, surprisingly...the only one to pass.

I'm getting a bit worried at the pass rates.
Honestly, I'm freaking out.
Mocks are definitely not a guarantee, and the finals I anticipate are gonna be way harder.
I'm worried, but gotta just do what I can and continue trusting God to bring me through this.

Results thus far, I'm surprised I even passed considering how I did during the mocks.
From now till then, it's gonna be that last push.
Crunch time, but I have God. : )

Till then, have an awesome month ahead.

PS: Perhaps it is time to go cold turkey. It can get really tiring sometimes.

Chasing A Fleeting Silhouette...

2010-05-19T00:22:00.005+08:00

Have you ever looked at a shining star, and reached for it?
Or grasped for a piece of the cotton candy by the store?
Perhaps you've peered through the window and looked on,
And looked at what you had and wished for more...

I've seen my forbidden fruit, lusciously red and juicy,
Hanging from a branch that extends ever so tall,
At the bottom of the tree I stood, hands in cup-like position,
Looking up, and hoping that into my hands it will fall.

Out came the sun, overbearing and up in the horizon,
Scorching the ground, beating down on me so evidently,
And yet I stood my ground staring so intently, waiting,
I realized that this wait might not end indefinitely.

Time passed, and clouds of grey loomed into view,
The brewing of a thunderstorm made known its presence,
Torrents of rain fell upon the earth, wave after wave,
But still I stood my ground, that very same distance.

I watched as my apple got snatched from my very eyes,
All I could do was to see it tossed to and fro, repeatedly,
How I long to savour the taste, and to truly partake of it,
But you come to realize that you'll never have it, inconspicuously.

And I've watched the opportunity slipped away.
How I've tried to fight for my dreams, and gave up fighting a lost cause.
One question but remains...

Are some dreams merely building castles in the air?

Crunch Time, Baby...

2010-05-19T00:11:00.002+08:00

Booyah!
After getting the modem struck by lightning (due to me being persistently stubborn and ignorant), dad got the modem changed.
Yes, being on a one and a half day hiatus from the internet sucked.

Lesson of the day: ...there is no lesson. Oh wait! Off the computer at the first signs of a storm.

It's exactly 20 days till my first virgin ACCA paper.
The thought of it scares the crap out of me.
New examiners, new auditing standards, and even a new on-screen marking by the examiners that's got ACCA coming up with some rules (i.e. only use black ballpoint pens, etc).
I have no idea what to expect.

But, God has been faithful.
My results thus far have been beyond my expectations.
Audit is insane.
56 marks, and the only one that passed in class.
Taxation was a pleasant surprise, making tonnes of careless mistakes and still getting a 73%.

But I've realized that this is crunch time.
My one and only chance of getting it right.
I'm really freaking out, but I know that as long as I have God...everything will fall into place.
So here's to a hiatus that will last quite a fair bit.
World Cup fever is about to hit as well.

Till then, time to suit up!

I Am That Difference...

2010-05-14T00:16:00.006+08:00

The second is this: "Love your neighbour as yourself." There is no greater commandment than these ~ Mark 12:31

Time is a finite resource.
Running about our own business, we strive to utilize every passing moment.
Seemingly becoming ignorant to the needs around, numb to our surroundings.

As we go about hoping to achieve our goals in life and seemingly more 'important' needs, we forget to stop and give a helping hand.
We forget, to love those around us.
Losing precious time is deemed of higher priority compared to the people around us.
What's scarier, is that it has become second nature.

I realize how hard it is to find someone who genuinely cares for your well-being (excluding family).
Amazingly difficult to find someone who sincerely enjoys your company and who actually takes the time to listen to how your day went.
Scarcely to be found is someone who accepts and loves you the way you are regardless of how you look or who you are.

Have you ever wondered what life would be if Adam did not have his Eve?
A cause for loneliness and even God knew that though we were made to worship Him and the fact that only He alone can fill the constant void and longing, we all need love.
To be accepted, to be loved, to have someone come along side you and go the extra mile.

God can be all that, and more...
But I'm thankful He understands the human need for acceptance, and for recognition.
He gave us family, friends, and love.
I want to learn to care and love unconditionally, even if it's only me.
God, help me to draw love from You and to love the world around me.

I want to be that difference.

22 Years And More...

2010-05-12T17:04:00.003+08:00

11th May 2010 went by just like that.
As much as it's always been mundane, I guess I've always wanted to be surprised.
I just think it'll be really great if suddenly a whole bunch of people come over and surprise you.
Oh well...

This year's birthday has been...different?
I normally conjure up a wish-list every year before the 'big' day comes around, but this time round...I almost forgot my own birthday and remembered only the night before.
In fact, I wanted to write this post on a wish list after the whole birthday, but...nothing comes to mind.

There's so many things that comes to mind, but I guess I've realized the truth now.
There is definitely nothing better than being accepted and loved, and that was a birthday wish I certainly wished hard enough.

God certainly was faithful though.
I guess as I look forward to the rest of the year, everything will fall into place as long as I keep focused on God.
22nd years and moving on to greater things.

PS: Thank you Cla Bear for that short but simple birthday post. : )
PSS: Iron Man 2 was pretty good for me. I'm a sucker for action movies.

My Promise, My Cross To Bear...

2010-05-10T11:31:00.006+08:00

As I strummed the guitar, plucking the strings intricately...God spoke.
No, it was not in a literal audio kinda way, but rather the prompting in the heart.
Right there at that very moment, you could say I was set free.

Epiphany.
I realized that I've tried to fill this void.
Running away from reality, I thought that things would sort out itself eventually.
But it hit me hard yesterday, that you cannot run away forever.

I'm not ready.
More than a promise, it was a commitment.
More than a commitment, it was the very essence of my heart.
More than all that, it was just...you.

I've messed up too many times, always hoping to get back on track.
I've tried it so many different ways.
Yet I realize that things will never get any better on my own.
After a long while, I can conclude that I'm braving it out to face reality and make up for lost time.

Only this time, I'll let God do the sorting out for me...

If Love Is Ever Really Love...

2010-05-08T08:38:00.004+08:00

True strength and love is when someone would rather stay through when the going gets tough even if leaving and walking away is so much easier.

Tell me, what is love?
I refuse to be misled, to think that when someone says "I'll always be there" and never will be.
Just the idea of it scares me.

Words are mere words.
When people say those 3 words, it means so little.
The frequency it is being used when the magnitude is so great does not tally at all.
It should be negatively correlated, simply because words bearing so great a magnitude should be uttered on a lower frequency to only a specific group of people.

Love must mature.

I heard those words a while ago, and I can't help but realize the importance of that truth.
I've grown to love some people, some more than others, but I realize that even then...I've become so skeptical.
Love is never love, if it never grows.

Love gives and hopes for nothing in return.

Perhaps this is the hardest truth to understand, because we have needs.
We love and hope to be repaid in full, but most of the time it never really is fully realized nor does it materialize over time.

Mummy once told me...

"Marriage is not a bed of roses. In fact, it's not even to make each other feel good and happy. It's a lifetime commitment that is depended on God to help you love the other party despite..."

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
Here's the twisted truth - "When love gets tough, we bail."

I guess love is tested when the most trying of storms hit the boat.
Do you rock the boat, or determine deep down to steer the ship through the storm into clear waters?
Do you jump off at the first amber signals of difficulty, or are you determined to see through the commitment that you've made right from the start?

The repercussion of our actions are huge, life-changing.
Too many relationships have been based on the feel-good factor, those 3 words that make you squirm, increase your heart rate, give you sweaty palms, causes butterflies to flutter in your tummy, and to some, a tongue-tied stutter.
Even more relationships have ended in tatters when the feel-good factors diminish and the person becomes just another ordinary person to which you find out that you cannot love the person for who he/she really is.

Grow into love.
Learn to love.
Commit to love.

Till death do us part.

It is NEVER too early to consider these words in a relationship.
I've realized that we always give a time line to the relationship, "if and when it gets serious...then we'll consider."
Every relationship is just another 'crash test', and not something you'd consider carefully before saying "I do".

Perhaps it's time we looked at things differently...

And that was the day I promised, I'll never sing of love,
If it does not exists...

But darling, you...are the only exception.

And up until now I had sworn to myself
That I'm content...with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk...

But you...are, the only exception.

Paramore.

I Think I'll Try Defying Gravity...

2010-04-29T22:45:00.003+08:00

So, it's the end of another month.
I think has time flies by towards the month of June (my ACCA exams for those of you who didn't know), I've found less time to do the things I used to do.
Even my updates are not that many anymore.
I make it a point to go online daily though, but then...such a lack of time.

Before I go on, I've got good news.
God is incredibly. God is amazing.
He's always been good, but when the odds were stacked against me...I've been granted a scholarship to complete the rest of my ACCA course.
It's definitely the boost and motivation I needed to push through.

Lets say after their interview, though I had good comments on my presentation...I was a bit skeptical (probably due to all the audit classes).
But I left it in God's hands and I told Him "Lord, if it's Your will...I'll get it."
By faith, I left it as that.
And here we go...a miracle.
God is amazing.
For all the times I've messed up, He still loves me regardless.
I do not deserve such favor, but yet...He chooses to bless.
You're awesome! : )

Anyway, it's time to head off to my actual post.
So here we go.
It's a really short one.
I've went out with a few people here and there, but they've been just random outings.

8th April 2010
Till this day, I'm not sure what occasion this was held for.
It was either for Joon Huei's new job, Melissa's new job, or just Joon Huei's birthday.
Anyway, we headed over to Time Square's Neway.
You could say I've been de-virginized from the karaoke scene.

Buffet dinner.

There was quite a wide selection too.

Sushi bar. Suffice to say, it was my favorite of the night.

Food food food!

People!

Malaysian Idol! xD Thank you Joon Huei for treating all of us. Next time, on me. : )

9th April 2010
Went over to mei's place.
Someone cooked spaghetti for lunch, and after that...we decided to head off to Ikea for tea.
And yes, I'm one of the few weird people who go to Ikea for food and not to shop for furniture.

Their famous Daim cake.

Cheese cake!

Classic face.

Soft toys do drive some people crazy. Exhibit A.

10th April 2010
I technically slept in after 2 previously late nights before Dines woke me up the following morning with a conversation that went like this..

Dines: Oi. Why didn't reply my SMS?
Matt: Huh? I just woke up la. Haha. What's up?
Dines: I'm at 1U now with Yoga and Lingz. Wanna meet up and grab a bite?
Matt: Now?
Dines: Yeah. It's Yoga's birthday. I give you 30 minutes to get here.

Hence, I woke up and rushed off to Chilli's, 1U.
Though it was random, but I love random meet ups like these.
Especially with people who are awesome.

My beef bacon burger. It was freaking big, like all the portions at Chilli's are.

No kidding. It was a whole lot.

Dines and Lingz Chicken Crispers, of some sort.

Yoga's lamb shoulder.

Dines and Lingz.

With the birthday boy, Yoga.

Thanks for the treat buddy. : )

We headed off to get some computer appliances for Lingz.
Drove to Ikano, and walked around looking for stuff.
Guess what I saw?

Mice? We have plural for a computer mouse now? xD

Well, that's about it thus far.
In fact, April might not have any updates whatsoever.
Checking through my pictures, I don't see any.
Yes, I'm reaching my peak period so to speak.
There's just so much to revise and prepare for.

God has been that one constant throughout.
Would not have survived thus far if it wasn't for His grace.
I guess as things start to build up, the more I need to depend on His grace.

Plans for the weekends look good too.

Friday - Revision // youth cell
Saturday - More revision // practice
Sunday - Church // youth // futsal // jamming

In between, there's quite a bit of free time.
So, plans have yet to be confirmed.
Till then, I guess this is it.

Good night.

Not Today...

2010-04-12T21:57:00.003+08:00

And I wanna believe you
When you tell me that it'll be okay
Yeah I tried to believe you
But I don't...

When you say that it's gonna be
It always turns to be a different way
I tried to believe you
Not today...

I think we've all been lied to one way or another by someone we trusted.
"It's gonna be okay," always failed to materialize.
You know, it was never their intention to lie.
All they ever wanted was to temporarily soothe our fears, that no matter what happened everything was going to be okay.

And then you stood there thinking that everything would fall into place, and even if it did not...the person who promised you, would be there to catch you.
Suddenly, it didn't feel so bad.

I remember...

...when everything came crashing down.
Standing in disbelief looking at what just happened.
"It's going to be okay," was the only words I remembered from that night and clung so tightly to the words that everything was going to be okay.

But...

Things never went back to okay.
As it seemed, that was the turning point that impacted me and changed me to who I am today.
It wasn't the lie that broke me; it was the fact that I fell face down and you weren't there to catch me.

Perhaps when you trust someone with your life not to let you down, they eventually do.
I am who I am today, and yet I don't recognize this person standing in front of the mirror.
This ruthless, occasionally wild, and incredibly cold-hearted person that now stands before me.
I guess when trust is broken, you turn against the world.

This is my way of dealing with it.
Turning that very moment when I watched as you walked away into the distance into something I use as my sorry excuse to never trust again.

And right now...the only reason I've not turned into the person that I've never said I would be, is the grace of God.
I've found that the only reason to ever live is to live for the One who made you, loves you, and never fails to catch you for 561,734,154,432th time.
So God help me if I cross that thin line and lose myself totally...

Schizophrenic.

I...don't know how I feel,
Tomorrow...tomorrow...
I...don't know what to say,
Tomorrow...tomorrow...
Is a different day...

Hello Hurricane, You Can't Silence My Love...

2010-04-10T23:35:00.005+08:00

March updates.
This is gonna be a real quick post, but rather image heavy.
It's 12am, and tomorrow there's church...but I need to destress.
It's amazing how sensitive and an apparent lack of humor some people really have.
Go get a life. : )

18th March 2010
I was having a my day off, Andrew was having his school holidays...
So, we headed off to the Chai's residence to hang out, play gimrummy and just enjoy the day.

Everybody's favourite game, gimrummy. : )

Home cooked dinner. Yumz.

Bolognaise sauce, with loads of cheese.

Spaghetti anyone?

Broccoli to complete dinner.

26th March 2010
Our first Youth CG was officiated and begun on this very date.
It started off with the usual, praise and worship, sharing, games, and finally ended up with supper at Nathan's corner.

Games!

Blurry!

Blur stand-in game master. : )

Model #1.

Model #2 failed attempt.

Model #2 success shot.

27th March 2010
The inaugural Annual Bible Challenge (ABC) was held.
This year, it's been switched to bi-annually apparently, but heck...it was good.
We were divided into 3 different teams this time round...Faith, hope and love.
Champions this time round went to team Hope.
I do believe the teams were unevenly balanced, but nevertheless...it was fun considering how little some of us studied.

The hamper prizes.

Trophies!

Here we go.

Team Hope!

Team Love.

Team Faith.

Steph!

Jerusha!

Shirene!

Yat Nam, team Hope's leader receiving the prize as the champions!

Shot #2.

Claudia, on behalf of team Love. They were the runner's up.

Wai Yuen, team Faith's leader receiving the second runner up's prize.

Team Hope on the go!

28th March 2010
Post-church, we headed off to Midvalley just to hang out.
A game of pool, followed by dinner and again...gimrummy at the Chai's.
A very very good night with great company.

I have no idea what they were doing, really.

My not so special fried rice.

Sharon and Claudia.

Andrew and Brandon.

Eu Jin.

That's all for the March updates.
There were more, but those didn't come with pictures.
Nevertheless, April updates are up next.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Random picture of the day!

Meet Ranger. xD

In The Eye of the Beholder...

2010-04-06T21:48:00.004+08:00

In dreams where reality seems so distant,
That silver lining hanging by the corner of the cloud,
Where everything you know of can be different,
The achievement of aspirations of the arrogant and proud.

I had no idea what I wrote up there, but I thought I'd write something to retain my creativity.
The spark has been dimmed considerably since I stopped writing poems a long while ago.
Anyway, it's time to complete my February updates.
I'm not worried about the March updates, since there isn't much to update about.
But till then, enjoy.

25th February 2010
After much complaining from Dines, we finally found the time to drive all the way down to Klang to go for some of Klang's finest seafood that he's been bragging about.
After meeting him up at Sunway, we headed down to his place and proceeded to Telok Gong.
Pictures!

Dines and Yoga. Poor lighting from the restaurant contributed in the low picture quality. My apologies.

Dan and Lingz.

Dan's recommendation - Guinness Stout + todi. Not up to my liking though. Way too sweet.

Dan seemed to enjoy the mixture though.

Standard drink when it comes to seafood - young coconuts.

Resembled spinach, but tasted better.

Mantis prawns...which were pretty good.

Steamed taufu with mushrooms and egg.

Steamed assam fish.

The main dish - chilly crab! : )

A job well done.

It was extremely cheap for the portion we had.
I wouldn't mind going down, though trying different dishes would be on the top of my agenda.
Ended the night heading back to Dines place for a while before we headed back home.

26th February 2010
Yes, you won't believe it but I went down to Klang a second time in a row on the next day with the family and some church members to have Klang Bak Kut Teh.
We headed to Jennie's to meet up and subsequently head for lunch.

Jennie and her siblings. : )

Her dog's pretty affectionate.

Shot #1.

Shot #2.

Duet on the piano.

And the camera goes *click*.

I'm a little teapot, short and stout...

Veggie.

'Wet' bak kut teh.

'Dry' bak kut teh, which was arguably the better one. : )

The evening continued with the PJ cell group.
It was pot bless at Uncle Sam's and Aunty Regina's place.
And there was a movie screening called Fire Proof, which I think is an awesome movie.

Food!

People! : )

CG leader giving a brief synopsis on the movie. : )

She was being cheeky.

Shot #2. : )

Shot #3; Andrew was captured in the background.

Chang Carmen. : )

Last picture to end the post...yours truly.

So that wraps up the February updates.
Next up will be a full-fledged post on the March updates.
Stay tuned.

Bidding each and everyone of you a great week ahead.
God bless.

There is no substitute for God. Without God, life is just a rat race that leads you to nowhere but a mouse trap ~ Matt

I See The Best of Me Inside Your Eyes...

2010-03-31T23:27:00.004+08:00

10 random facts you probably never knew about Matt.

1. I'm an adrenaline junkie. I love to speed, in a safe sorta way. Oh, oxymoron. : )

2. I'm a good listener. I give reasonably good advice, but I always seem to have trouble following them when it's applicable to me.

3. I'm sensitive. Pros: I understand people and emphatize with them very well. Cons: I'm sensitive.

4. To a certain extent, I'm very systematic. When something is not running the way it is or merely out of position, I'd go out of the way to correct it.

5. I squint my eyes sometimes when I'm out in the sun, even if it's not glaring.

6. I've a soft spot for animals, and my heart breaks when I see homeless people or just people who are less fortunate than me. And I know God's calling in my life is to use me to help people and to reach out to them.

7. I tend to be judgmental sometimes without being verbal about it. As much as I place my major importance on character, I'm still very 'looks' orientated when I judge people. My weakness, and God is still working in me. Be patient with me.

8. I secretly dislike the fact that I'm a "jack of all trades, but master of none."

9. I'm very very simple. I can eat almost anything, and mamak is just about the best place for a good meal at a decent price. I'm not fussy about a lot of things, but that doesn't mean I'm not particular when something is important.

10. I think way too much sometimes. Again, pros and cons.

Bet you didn't know that.
I have other random fun facts, but some of which I think are just bad habits and not worth mentioning for fear of causing a lost of appetite. Haha!
Anyway, there's a long list but that's it for now.
The rest, you're gonna have to get to know me. : )

Classes are beginning to pick up.
Taxation is probably the most memory based paper among the 3 papers.
Audit is getting really really technical. Substantive Analytical Procedures kills. But I love the class. It really makes you utilize your brain to the best of its ability. I love audit, like seriously.
Professional Accountant is getting really really ethical now that the earlier chapters of the nitty-gritty of a company have been taught. Getting tougher too.

I'm beginning to make a few friends here and there.
I guess I'm slowly settling into college.
All that's left is to get my spiritual life back in order.
Honestly though, there are those times when my mind tends to wander off and stuff.

For all the uncertainty in the future, these are the times that my faith is being tested to hold on to God's hand and trust Him to lead me through this.
One thing after another has been turned upside down here and there, and there really is no stopping it.
It's been ongoing, but I can only be thankful that I've had God all this while.

I thank God for good friends though.
Been spending time with some people, and I can't remember the last time that I had so much fun and genuinely felt so happy.
Things haven't exactly been smooth, but God has been sustaining me.

Sure I've felt the pinch, the pain occasionally...but really, it is the grace of God that has kept me through.
The scars are still there, the memories are vivid reminders...but God is faithful.
As much as this sounds mean, but I'm literally distancing myself from the people who take me forgranted and who treat me as a secondary option for whatever reasons.
For the people that have always been there, I've given myself over to them more and here's another fun fact to end the post...

[I will do almost ANYTHING for the people who mean the world to me]

Here's the best part...you'll never know it was you, but you're appreciated. : )

Picture of the day. Me likey. : )

Without You My World Slips Away...

2010-03-26T17:03:00.004+08:00

March has just flown by, and time is definitely running out on me.
Realization hit when I realize it's a mere 2 months away from one of the biggest exams I've ever taken.
I'm scared out of my wits, but it's my motivation to push all the way.

I've finally found some time (and some willpower) to update my most-of-the-time-dead-blog.
To be honest, I don't expect many people to stay.
Nevertheless, it's a blogger's duty to update it anyway.
Professionalism, integrity, objectivity...
Okay, ACCA is coming in. : )

Anyway, this update is going to be solely on my Chinese New Year Malacca trip.
It's IMAGE heavy, and I'm not kidding.
Enjoy.

Venue: Malacca town.
Date: 19th-20th February 2010.
Purpose: A very short holiday.

It always starts out with me camwhoring. : )

On our way with our trustee lil GPS as our guide.

Spotted: Lion lookalike with swollen eyes in the city of Malacca.

Translation errors? How did Kedai Serbaneka become Choice Shop?

Kafe Bulldog.

Just another building.

Here we are.

I figured Goh Clinic would be "Klinik Goh."

Even Madonna has a building named after her.

St Francis Xavier church in Penang, but looks more like a castle no?

Finally arrived at our destination; hotel lobby.

Swimming pool!

Yoga cuts a lone figure by the washrooms.

Lobby decorations.

I don't like the way he's looking at the camera. xD

Receptionist.

On our way to the rooms.

Our rooms.

Master bedroom!

View from our room.

Wanna-be.

Candid!

Group pic #1.

Group pic #2.

Group pic #3.

Little red riding hood. : )

Cute door sign. : )

Next up was our quest for lunch.
The famous chicken rice ball that took us almost an hour walking under the hot afternoon sun trying to locate the place.
A bit overrated, but it was okay.

Man-made stone formations!

Awhh...love transcends everything.

Some kinda ride that takes you right to the top and gives a bird's eye view of the city.

Random shot #1.

Post-war air plane.

Hardly see these around anymore.

Eloping? xD

Random shot #2.

Mahkota Parade, if I'm not mistaken.

The famous Christ Church of Melaka.

Rawr! Ship ahoy!

Random shot #3.

This was our destination.

We had to queue for 15 minutes to get a place to sit.

Foooodddd!

Coconuts and 100 Plus. The heat was unbearable by the way.

The famous rice balls.

Yummy chicken.

Bean sprouts to go with it.

This was fried pork, if I'm not mistaken. Extremely good.

Poser-fied.

His other half follows suit.

Our next destination for dessert.

Wait for it...

Malacca's famous durian cendol. Expensive, but worth every cent. Food orgasm! xD

Random shot #4.

Gotcha! : )

Post-lunch, we headed back to the hotel room to chill.
After freshening up, we had tea and of course we went on the XBox 360 that was brought along.
Bliss.

Fish cakes.

Miniature model of a Malaysian 'kampung'.

Next up, we headed out to a nearby food court for dinner.
And honestly, the food was pretty good.

Here they are.

The crowd.

New drink - Honey Drew. Hahaha!

Oysters, or "O-chien" as we call it. Yums.

Yoga's hot plate noodles.

My claypot yee mee. : )

Their (Dines and Lings) claypot rice of some sort.

Nothing beats watermelon juice on a hot evening.

Yoga's soursop.

Their mango dessert.

Yoga.

Dines.

Lings.

More of the XBox 360.

Candid.

Headed off to the pool for a night swim.
It was cooling, the weather was perfect.

In the bubble pool.

Spot the monkey.

Clowning around.

Rawr!

Unfortunately, I got back to the room feeling under the weather.
The intense afternoon heat was to blame, and maybe my lack of water.
It has led to the cough that has plagued me till today.
Yes, annoying.

We turned in pretty early as Dines wanted to wake up at 7.30am the next morning for the breakfast buffet.

Taking opportunity of the stone arches. : )

Breakfast!

Here we go.

Fresh milk, orange, guava, and pineapple juice. Talk about 4 star hotels.

Noodles and they even had mini paus.

Nasi lemak.

Round 1.

Round 2.

Rawr!

Lings!

This is what you want to do when you've had a very heavy meal.

Chilling by the poolside.

Tranquility, somehow that's the word that comes to mind.

The Eye of Malaysia? Or maybe just Malacca...

Goodbye Malacca. : )

So that sums up my trip.
Next up, Lang Tengah trip in June.
Excited even thinking about it, but for now...it's the exams I need to tackle first.

Next post will be the remaining updates for February.
And until then, adios. : )

You Never Let Me Go...

2010-03-21T00:05:00.003+08:00

Busy!
Lack of time!
Stressed!
Those are the words that are basically affiliated with me nowadays.

But thank God for the weekends.
I wouldn't say it has been exactly productive, but it's been getting better.
I know I've not finished with the February updates, but that will come one of these days.

Recently, I think God's been calling me back to Him.
It really is time to evaluate and I've come to a conclusion that I've strayed away...rather far.
I'm disappointed in myself.
I question whether I mean what I say, whether I mean everything I've done for Him or merely done out of compulsion and obligation.

Perhaps I've been trying so hard to find myself, that I've forgotten that once I've found myself in Him....everything else falls into place.
The next few days will be reflective to a certain extent.
I need to find the person whom I used to be.

On a random note...
This Thursday and Friday are off days.
Rare much...

P.S.: Liverpool's narrow 2-1 defeat to MU highlights the horrendous season that we've been having. It's all over now. Sigh...

When A Heart Breaks, It Don't Break Even...

2010-03-13T23:12:00.005+08:00

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and...
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay...
I'm falling to pieces...
I'm falling to pieces...

Break Even - The Script

I guess I've realized tonight that there really is a difference in perception.
And I understand now why it's so hard to do what I need to do.
The real state of my heart just revealed itself to me tonight in a clearer way than I've ever seen before.
Trying to cover up all this while and the best thing was that I never even knew I was doing it all along.

This is my sign to seriously get reconnected to God.
I used to feel so secure, so loved when I placed myself in His arms of love.
I've not been spending enough time with Him, and straying apart sucks.
I fall into insecurity, and emotions overwhelm me.

I realize now that above and beyond everything else, emotional connections and ties are still the reasons why I feel so much for people, and yet always feel the full blast of hurts and pain.
My gift, but also my curse.

I cannot deal with this alone.
The next few days will be crucial.
Either I find my way back, or I fall to pieces...again.

I miss having good friends, people who genuinely cared and people who loved me regardless of my weaknesses.
I feel so alone.

Only God can heal broken hearts.

Who is the boy in the mirror?

2010-03-08T21:52:00.003+08:00

Myth: Monday blues.
Reality: 8th March 2010

I cannot say I started the day perfectly well.
Perhaps it's the magnitude of what this week really brings.
To many other people, it's just another week that will go on; but to me, this week carries significance.

It's the halfway point of the ACCA course.
Things have been a lil rocky, but exams will tell how much I've really absorbed these past few months.
Apart from exams, this week carries a form of significance that is probably only known to myself.

Lets just say I'm hoping for the better.
As things begin to slowly pick up, deadlines draw nearer, and things around me start dancing in and out of clarity...it's been a weird time.

I've questioned the friendships that have been built over time.
I've questioned my own ability to trust people.
It's a frightening thought to see how people have been acting, how things have been working out for the people around me.

I'm scared.
I feel all alone, and it feels like that nowadays.
I'm not afraid to admit that I'm weak, that I need God...

But I've never been so scared and felt so alone at the same time.
I just know that God is there.
He's the only One that's never let me down.

I don't know how to love the people around me anymore.
...broken, disappointed and hurt countless times.
I'm afraid, lost...

For we know that all things work out together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purposes ~ Romans 8:28.

Detached...

2010-03-06T21:15:00.006+08:00

February Updates!
Yes, it has been a long time coming but I've been pretty occupied to a certain extent.
Or maybe just too lazy considering the time consumed to update the blog.
Nevertheless, I'll update as much as I can for the month of February.
Will probably split the updates into 2 separate posts.

So, here's the first part.

12th February 2010
Khye Ren came back from Semenyih for a short Chinese New Year break.
Out of the blue, we decided to meet up and chill.
Headed to 1U for lunch at McD's, catch up session, before ending it with a game at U-Bowl.

Camera-shy is her middle name.

CNY decorations.

The year of the tiger, but the closest is a cat?

Meow.

Bowling!

Booyah!

Giving it a go.

That same evening, I met up with Danial, Dines and Larsson.
This is what happened...

The driver.

We spent a good 45 minutes in front of college deciding on what to eat.

Kota Damansara's nasi lemak was the decision, along with a whole lot of other food.

Struggling to cut fried chicken with plastic cutlery.

Larsson and Dines.

Had coffee and dessert at Pappa Rich right after before we adjourned to Adam's for a catch up.
Apparently when you get married, you forget appointments. xD

13th February 2010
As it was the customs, the whole family (my dad's side anyway) came together for the annual reunion dinner.
This year was a bit special as it was ala steamboat style.
Unfortunately, eating steamboat when the weather was hot had its disadvantages.

Foooooooood!

Ladies at work.

Tomyam section!

Familyyyyy. <3

Fail attempt #1 - lighting issues.

Fail attempt #2 - lighting issues + someone got captured in the picture.

3rd time's the charm they say.

White Stripes? : )

Picture of the day. The people that matter. <3

Angels on Assignment.

This is what happens when girls get a hold of your camera.

See what I mean?

The food spread at the Chang's. : )

Makan makan makan!

Nothing like good fellowship.

15th February 2010
In the evening, a call came in and we headed on to Midvalley to catch Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief.
This was followed by dinner at Pizza Hut, and a few rounds of ginrummy at the Chai residence.

The Chais. Awhh...: )

'
The Changs.

Mushroom soup.

And of course the customary Pepsi.

Garlic bread, to which we all agreed that we could make better.

Hawaiian Supreme.

Thai Supreme.

The camera-shy brother who ate more cheese flakes than the 3 of us combined.

What up?

Ms Chai. <3

16th February 2010
Third day of the new year's, and we headed over to Subang to meet up with the cousins for lunch.
It was an awesome food spread for like 20 plus of us hungry people.

Only part of the food spread out for us.

Still not totally complete, so you can guess how much food there was.

The tables wasn't enough for all of us.

A pumpkin dish, which I don't fancy. But the stuff inside, was pretty tasty.

Cousins apparently making ice-cream.

The older cousins at 'war'.

Grandaunty! <3

Cousin Li Anne, webcamming with the crazy cousins from Australia. <3

Meet Ashley and Emily.

Crazy enough?

Candid.

Emily with Mr Snowman.

People I love.

Li Anne loves the camera. : )

The boys and their games.

COD 2: Modern Warfare!

After heading back in the late evening just to freshen up, we headed to Uncle Derrick's for the next open house.
It was eat, eat, and eat again.
The food was DELICIOUS!

Dinner time!

Felicia.

Fireworks yo!

17th February 2010
We headed back to the Chais for almost the whole day for nothing but ginrummy, dota, and good company.

Here we are again.

Aunty Pek See made the sinful chocolate bread pudding, which was to die for.

Claudiaaaaa.

The Chais.

Bad camera = bad photo quality. My apologies. But this was such a nice picture, I just had to post it up.

Steven's Corner was the dinner venue.

Cheese naaaannnnnnn. Yummy stuff.

18th February 2010
Had to be the chauffeur and drive my brother all the way to Bandar Sri Damansara for an open house.
Hence, since I was in the neighbourhood, I dropped by Andrea Kong's.
We actually tried studying and attempting assignments.
Epic fail. Haha!

Here she is.

Her 'home' look, as she calls it. : )

Hence half the February updates are done.
Day 1-day 5 of the CNY have been covered.
There will be more updates in the next post.
The Malacca trip should take up a bulk of the update.

This is all from me.
More pictures can be found on Facebook.
So, till the next time...

This is Matt signing out.

Love Unconditionally, Live Fully...

2010-03-01T18:40:00.005+08:00

You know those moments when it's raining, and a strange calming effect envelops you amidst the thunder and noises that accompanies a storm?
Right now, just sitting here...I can think and enjoy some peace.

I came across a line from a friend's blogpost listing down the 30 most satisfying simple pleasures of life.
Glancing through one by one, I came by this...

27. Holding Hands with Someone You Love
Every time she grabs your hand you are overcome with an awareness of how much she means to you. Holding hands is sensual and physically intimate, yet subtle. There are few people you allow to hold your hand, so when it happens you can be sure that the moment is special.

This sentence means different things to different people.
But I realized, how many times I've taken forgranted the many times that I was given the opportunity to hold the person's hands whom you hold so dear to your heart.
I think life is unpredictable and crazy at times, but more so over the past few months.
You start to wonder if people valued relationships at all sometimes.

It's been a torrid season to see people going through what seems to be the ultimate storm.
'Rogue waves' that are 20 feet high hits us once in a while in life and literally breaks and decimates the boat of life and not just merely 'rock the boat'.
Perhaps experiencing it helps me to emphatize with the people affected.

My heart goes out to the people who have had their hearts broken.
Reasons may be legitimate, and intentions may have been for good...
But sometimes, it's not the reasons that we're looking for.
It's merely the question that accompanies the reason..."What happened to talking it out and working things through?"

Perhaps it's another reason why love is so misunderstood.
If love is merely another word to be thrown around, then why have wedding vows?
My heart breaks to see people I know breakdown from a broken relationship.
Only the love of Christ which is perfect and unconditional in nature can mend broken hearts, teach a person to love the unlovable, and to love others and expect nothing in return not because someone else deserves it, but because Christ loved us first.

To all you heartbreakers out there, try putting yourself in the other person's shoes.
Some people deserve more than just your sympathy...

Because some people...actually accept and love you for who you are, not for what you've done.

January Updates #2

2010-02-21T20:50:00.005+08:00

Part 2 of the January updates, and I'm coming to an end I assure you.
But, this post is image heavy.
So, onwards!

6th January 2010
Meet up with Sean
So Sean came back from Aussieland for about a month.
Unfortunately, he was extremely busy and we only got to meet up once.
But he's one of those friends that we used to click so well and we still do even after we've been separated for a long while.
Miss him loads!

Seannnnnnnnnn!

Snap! : )

Snapshot #2.

We caught Sherlock Holmes at Pyramid.
It was fun catching up and all.
Come back soooonnnnnn! : )

9th January 2010
5 Kempas Reunion
The venue was set at Kayu's, SS2.
Never liked the place due to the price, but this time round the service was even worse.
Anyway, we had a reunion and slightly under half of the class were present.

Ken and Peng Cheng.

Joaquim and Pei Kee.

Wen and Suz.

The above are all the early comers while everyone else was fashionably late. Malaysia boleh! xD

Fashionably late, and went off to another table elsewhere. Tsk tsk tsk...

Peng Cheng and Lee Ping.

Ping and Wein.

Pei Kee, Jian Sheng, and Peng Cheng.

Ping, Ken, and Joaquim caught candid.

Wein, CCR, and Han Jung.

Peng Cheng, Wen, and Suz.

Jian Sheng, Peng Cheng and Wen.

Jian Sheng, Peng Cheng and Chris.

CCR, Wilson, and Han Jung.

Wein, CCR and a lil bit of Wilson.

Suz and Matt.

Matt and Wein.

Ping, Ken, Joaquim and Pei Kee.

Jian Sheng, Chris, and Wen.

Jian Sheng, Jack (who came after waiting so long), and Chris.

Wen and Suz.

17th January 2010
Lerida visited HCC.
Random, but just a few snapshots and that should end my January updates more or less.
So here we go...

Brandon and Lerry @ Pan Cafe for lunch!

Emo look.

Matt, Lerry and Brandon!

Smile for the camera!

And thus completes my January updates more or less, as promised.
February updates will be even more lengthy.
Unfortunately, they won't be coming just as yet.
Pictures have not even been uploaded, but updates will be forthcoming sooner or later.

Joy is not the absence of pain, but the presence of God.
I'm tired of being disappointed by men.
Though mum once quoted "Men's failures are chances for God to be glorified," but I'm done depending on people around me.
Even if I'm forsaken by the world, the same God who created the universe loves me unconditionally without flaw.

I believe this is the start to breakthrough into even greater things.
Yes, friends come and go...but the people who I expected to catch me when I fall never turned up.
Another reason why you'll always ever be disappointed constantly in life, but God never disappoints.
Backstabbing, betrayal, cheating, all the drama and politics involved in human relationships.
I am sick of it.

Belief and trust in friendship, yes.
But dependence, I'll think twice.
So tempted to complain and murmur, but it really is no point.
Oh wait, I just did. Ugh...
We're all imperfect, but I'm done making excuses for everyone else but myself.

God, and only God alone to pull me through life and its circumstances.

January Updates #1.

2010-02-21T20:40:00.003+08:00

I am back from Malacca.
You could say that it was a good time to relax, but I guess it didn't really end too well.
Walking in the hot sun for too long on the first day cost me part of my health for later part of the holiday.
Nevertheless, I think it was really good.
KBU-ians are awesome.

As promised, before I get really busy preparing for exams...I'm here to update at least the January month.
So, here we go.

3rd January 2010
Andrew's Early 17th Birthday Celebration
It was a quiet celebration, but we were early by a day and we decided to go out for dinner.
Old Town White Coffee at Jaya One was the selected location as the parents were recommending a certain kinda rice that was apparently very good.

The parents. <3

With the birthday boy. : )

Take #2.

My nasi lemak. Standard dish at Old Town.

This was the dish they were talking about. Some sorta glutinous rice if I'm not mistaken. But it was really good. Mum and Andrew had this.

Dad's Hainanese Chicken Chop.

Spring rolls for sides.

Garlic bread!

4th January 2010
Andrew's actual 17th Birthday celebration
As tradition goes (well, in our family anyway), we bought dinner and headed to the grandparents to officially celebrate Andrew's birthday.
I think we ate till we were stuffed.
KFC was the main dish!

Yumz!

Family with the grandparents.

Candid! Hahaha!

Homemade cake!

Happy 17th you!
Late, but better late than never.
May God continue to bless you and bring you to greater heights!
This year is definitely gonna be awesome.
SPM! Whooo! *snickers*

Anyway, this is gonna be a separate post.
Onward to the next January post.

I Surrender All to You...

2010-02-18T00:19:00.004+08:00

Surrender - Planetshakers

WARNING: Long post ahead! Read at your OWN risk! : )

Gong Xi Fa Cai!
Gong Hei Fat Choi!
San Lin Fai Lok!

and...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

It's that time of the year when all you do (or at least I do) is go out, visit, eat, and collect...MONEY!
A time when prosperity is wished upon family and friends, when a full year is wished ahead to those around you.
This year however, it seems like the effect has sorta been nullified and dulled.
No, I don't think it's due to the coincidence that Valentine's fell on the first day (known as chor yat) of the new year.

Somehow, the excitement that usually entails the arrival of the dates seemed lost.
So far, it has been really happening though.
The usual signs have been foretelling with the extreme weather conditions, noisy firecrackers going off at night, and house visitations that have begun.
Not to mention the crazy food spread that have been ever so often placed in front of our eyes.
Feasting, as we Malaysians call it.

I guess things are still on a pick up.
Progress, then regression.
I've never been known to be a fast healer.
Some days are better than others, but it's been nothing short of challenging.
One baby step at a time, is taking too darn long.

Finding my foot, it's been terribly tough for me at certain points.
I've watched myself crumble to considerable pieces...and friends who have walked by.
This stage is not something new.
College is interesting in terms of studies, but I guess ACCA students are just known to be pretty much lifeless to a certain extent.

I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I am still here today, by the grace of God.
Reached a stage where I've questioned if anything anyone says is of any value.
Frankly, I've questioned if the friends I've made were genuine.
No particular disrespect to anybody, but I tend to rant when I'm not in the mood.
I do not expect anything, but too many times I've had people gone through breaking points in life...and I've always been the one to be there.

But...

I can't remember people who GENUINELY, yes...genuinely took the time to ask how I felt about certain things or decisions.
And they always disappear sooner or later.
Yes, I am ranting.
It really is tiring to love unconditionally so many times, and I really do wonder how Jesus could show such love and still die on the cross for the world when the WHOLE world was rejecting Him (and was even forsaken by the Father at that particular point of time).

I guess it's because He knew how to depend on the One source of strength that came from above.
He knew that the Father's love was UNCONDITIONAL no matter what.
And as long as I don't learn my lesson, I'll be stuck at this point in time.
I know now I definitely cannot do this on my own strength.
How I'm gonna get through this, only God will pull me through this...
A lesson He wants to teach me, I'm sure.

But I don't recognize myself anymore.
I think I'm beginning to lose faith in people.
Thank God though, that love will always remain.
And having faith in love will help me to love "in spite of."

Ugh, my apologies.
If you've read up to here, congratulations!
Haha! : )
Not the kinda prosperity post you'd be hoping for ei?

But, Happy Chinese New Year once again.
And again, I've still yet to update my January posts and now I've got the February updates coming up.
Soon soon.
Gah...

This is me, signing off.

A Four-Letter Word I Call Love...

2010-02-02T18:25:00.005+08:00

*edited*

Some extra stuff I found on Samantha's blog.
Makes you wanna go "awhh..." : )
Click here.

And if you want the original link, then clicky here. : )

*Picture credits to google.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love ~ 1 Corinthians 13:13.

Love.
For centuries, people have sought to categorise and define love in their own definitions.
Perhaps the most significant gift we've ever been given is the capability to love.
We were created out of love, and to love.
This huge void we have, a gap that we seek to fill with acceptance and love.
Some more than others, but deep down...this gap is so significantly felt.

We yearn to be accepted by those around us, to be loved for who we really are, to know that someone cares deep enough...
It's not a sweeping statement; as much as some claim to be able to live all alone, but deep down...there is that desire to love and be loved.

Love can be painful, but love can also be blissful.
Love can be discouraging, but love can also be encouraging.
Love can be depressing, but love can also be fulfilling.

The list can go on and on.
I've been through every season of love imaginable, and it came to a point when I questioned my capabilities and why I was given such a high level of sensitivity to love (in my opinion anyway).
My very strength, was my very weakness.
Heartbreaks came and went...and still I loved.

But while I've been crushed and broken beyond recognition, it was only recently that I understood the real meaning of love.
Christ, the perfect example.
To love and be shunned.
To love and be ridiculed.
To love and be misunderstood.
To love and receive the very opposite.

But I've realized that being dependent on others to be accepted and loved have led to disappointments and heartbreaks.
And this was the simple message that He dropped into my heart on the 1st of February...

"You've been placing your love in people and expecting something in return. Now I want you to place your trust in me and let me love you for who you are."

Don't get me wrong.
It does not mean that you do not love your family, your significant other and those around you...
While loving others will always be an integral part of life, I've realized that only God has the power to love you for who you really are.
And if He allows you to be broken, He'll love you back to the road to recovery.

I realized the pain throughout these years was never about me, but it was always about God.
Shaping me, molding me, preparing me for what's to come.
This is definitely in line with my call to the corporate world, to reach a position of influence...to reach out and love the needy, the poor, and the lost.

I still believe in love.
I believe that love and not money alone makes the world go round.
Love conquers all, and the very reason God would send His Only Son to the cross for the world is nothing other than...LOVE!

Keep believing, because the greatest of faith, hope and love...is and always will be LOVE!

Happy Valentine's Day in advance. : )

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think hiatus shall be my middle name for a long while now.
ACCA course has begun for almost a month already, and things are getting hectic.
In fact, I believe that I may have to start nerding like full time (yes, I finally know what it means...like seriously) and get down to the nitty-gritty of the work involved.
No doubt I anticipated this, but if I continue this way...I may never fully achieve excellence and anything short of that would never suffice.

I enjoy classes a whole lot.
It's the workload I'm not looking forward to.

Before things get even more hectic, and before more belated posts start piling up...the next post will really be a full-fledged update on January's happenings.
I promise. : )

PS: Do I qualify as a nerd now? xD

Against The Odds...

2010-01-28T10:40:00.003+08:00

Movie updates!

Paranormal Activity.

Caught this with Eu Jin and the brother on the laptop. It was recommended as apparently it's "the first movie to make me scream" quotes Eu Jin. So I thought I'd give it a try though I'm no big fan of horror movies.

It was scary in its own rights, but I think watching it at midnight with the lights turn off, and a really good sound system would scare the wits out of you. Picture watching it in the big screens.

The movie synopsis is in the form of a first person kinda view, with the whole thing from Micah's (Micah Sloat) point of view using a camcorder to attempt to catch the paranormal activity going on in the house he resides in with his girlfriend, Katie (Katie Featherston). However, Katie has always had 'someone' following her everywhere she went ever since she was a kid.

I think the nail-biting parts were when the nights came, and you'd see (i.e. blankets moving, bedroom door moving, the "entity's" shadow even) and hear things such as footsteps. Definitely thought the whole concept was interesting though.

Verdict: 6/10 If you're thinking of giving yourself a scare, this is it. But I suggest that the volume be maxed, lights be turned off, and caught right at the stroke of midnight. : )

Identity.

Yes, I'm outdated. This movie was dated 2003, but I thought watching another thriller right after a horror would be cool. Though towards the end, I didn't really get the plot...but I thought the twists in it and the entire structure of the movie was good.

Click here for synopsis.

Verdict: 7/10 Interesting how the plot fell into place and you'd try and figure out who was the real killer in the end.

ACCA workload is really starting to pile up and I'm glad in a way.
I think I'm really enjoying each and every subject no matter how tedious they seem.
But heck, I'm learning a whole lot...and I believe I'm moving in His calling to serve Him in the corporate world.
Yet again, anything can happen when God calls and that is what's so exciting on this journey with Him.

The only annoying thing is the fact that I have classes this Sunday.
And perhaps the hardest thing is coming in to 3 different classes, seeing 3 different sets of people, and yet each of them having their own 'clicks' and groups.
I'd like to believe that everyone has some good in them, so I shall stop short of calling KDU-ians arrogant.
Only time will tell.

I guess it's time to actually head off and do some revision.
Everyday starts off pretty much the same, but the only difference between getting through the day and letting it affect me is when I start off the day with a proper devotion...or not.
I'm gonna get through this even if I have to crawl on all fours. : )

I trudged up the hill of pain and disdain,
Every little step seemingly the hardest,
The summit seems so far away, it was plain,
But I needed to get there to emerge the strongest.

And The Sun Will Set For You...

2010-01-24T23:11:00.006+08:00

*edited*

Thanksgiving, Christ-living.

That's HCC's theme for the year 2010.
A life full of thanksgiving will lead to a life being led for Christ everyday.
I guess it's no coincidence that God has been speaking to me about thanksgiving in my daily devotions as well.

As I continue in my daily struggle to let go of the person I love the most, God has been speaking through so many different sources and I believe that though love sometimes require you to let go but it does not mean you can't go on living life for God to your maximum potential and continue loving.

Personally, life needs to go on regardless of what has happened.
I believe that a person so special who has entered your heart will never leave again no matter what the circumstances are and no matter where life takes the both of you to.
That has always been the case with me, though it may vary according to individuals.

But God has been speaking to me about thanksgiving, sending different people who keep me going...
Most of all, God has been helping me and I believe thanksgiving is the start of it all.
Today's message just kinda confirmed it all, and I believe that things will only get better as time goes on.
I cannot believe what might happen if God has not carried me through this, but I believe that it may seem impossible with me...

But with God, all things are possible.
I hope this will be my turning point.
No more emo posts hopefully? : )

And here's something good to thank God for, though it seems insignificant.
There's this song that was playing on the radio quite a long while ago.
I could never get the title, nor the name of the band.
But I found it on the radio that day.
I would never have guessed that this band would sing such genre.
Thank God I finally found it though. *grins*

Linkin Park - Shadow of the Day

I close both locks below the window
I close both blinds and turn away

Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
Sometimes good bye's the only way

And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

In cards and flowers on your window
Your friends all plead for you to stay

Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes good bye's the only way

And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

Love Will Get You Through...

2010-01-22T23:23:00.005+08:00

I guess you can say Thank God It's Friday!
Honestly though, it's just another statement to me but the weekends certainly mean a time to recharge my batteries.
Still in a very unstable state, but I guess you could say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Character building, the refining of gold, the shaping of a diamond, or just merely the transforming of a caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly.

For some reason, I was meditating on this very verse that goes like this...

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love ~ 1 Corinthians 13:13.

I was just thinking about it and meditating on it.
God just kinda spoke to me and I came up with this...

Always take a step forward in faith, look to the future with hope, and love those around you as you love yourself...

You could say that recently I've lost faith in people and relationships.
No, don't get me wrong.
I still look through the Father's eyes of love and see the need to love those around me unconditionally.
It's just that "wall of skepticism and pessimism" coming up all over again when it comes to relationships.

I guess you could say I was on the verge of giving up on people.
But God reminded me that if He could send His Only Son out of love for every single person out there, then there is no reason I should stop loving those around me cause that would simply make my existence without purpose if I cease to love them through the Father's love. : )

I guess I got to a stage when I've started doubting whether I'll ever be good enough for those around me at all.
It came to a point when I asked God "All I want is a normal life, normal relationships. Why can't I have it?"
And His reply was merely this...
"Because you're not meant to live a normal life. I'm breaking you to make you someone extraordinary for My Name sake."
All that's left is for the pieces to be mended.

I've been doing some self-reflecting recently, and the lessons are there for me to see.

Seriously when it gets lonely, that means you're just pathetic. You're not trying hard enough.
Saying goodbye is impossible when it comes to the people you hold closest to your heart. And yes, I know it's an exaggeration, but that's just how crazy it is.
Disappointments are a daily thing. So be prepared for them.
Time MIGHT heal the wounds, but you're scarred for life.

But the best to come is this...

God never leaves, never disappoints, never fails, never gives up on you, and never stops loving you.

And that's the best promise anyone has ever promised me.
Suffice to say, I'm gonna start 2010 with a bang and start working and serving for the One Reason, One Purpose, and One Hope that keeps me going.

Here's a little extra to read.
It's from a friend of mine, who sees love for all it is.
Enjoy!

Click HERE!

Till then, have a good weekend people.
I pray that love will find you wherever you're at, because we were made to love. : )

Nothing but Hope...

2010-01-20T09:04:00.003+08:00

Good morning.
It's a Wednesday morning, one of those days when classes only begin in the afternoon.
Considering yesterday was one heck of a night, today is a fresh start.
I'm hoping this is a turnaround point for yours truly.
It's taking me insane time to get through this, but I'm gonna choose to.

Anyway, new year's 2010 was celebrated at Curve (yet AGAIN!) and suffice to say, I'm never going out to shopping malls in the future if there isn't any watchnight services in church.
Well, the best part was we got a good view of the fireworks this year.
Hence, this post will be image heavy!
You've been WARNED! : )

Started off New Year's Eve with my last day at HSBC (refer to previous post) and after work...headed out to meet up with the college peeps for dinner at Paramount's famous nasi lemak joint.
And then proceeded to Curve for the countdown with a different bunch of friends.

Dines a.k.a. 'Kaki-lang'. : )

Lingz a.k.a. Dines' better half.

Nasi Lemak! You probably can't see it clearly, but it tastes way better than it looks.

New Year's decor at Curve! Taken @ The Street.

A vague view of the street concert.

The MJ Dancers. They could really move. : )

Ms Hitomi.

Mr CCR. : )

Post-New Year @ CCR's place.

The host.

Thank you to the both of you for giving my New Year's some cheer. : )

Here we go.

So ends 2009.

And the arrival of a new beginning.

Whether it be the ups...

Or the downs...

The different lessons of life...

God is and will always be faithful...

And He will continue to be for 2010...

New challenges...

New ups and downs in life...with multiple 'colours' to face.

Here's to a great 2010!

PS: For more pictures...click here. Facebook link. *grins*

Dear Readers...

2010-01-18T18:43:00.003+08:00

Dear readers,

My apologies for my posts these past few weeks.
It's been depressing I know, but I guess God is still doing His thing in me.
You are not officially held responsible nor accountable to read the posts that will be posted up.
In due time I'm sure, things will be better.

For now, bear with me or if at any moment you feel a tinge of uneasiness whilst reading the posts...feel free to skip and revisit this blog somewhere down the lines.
I am sorry.

Regards,
The Management.

Permanently Scarred...

2010-01-18T13:46:00.004+08:00

Chris Daughtry - Life After You

Ten miles from town and I just broke down
Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know
Believe me I won't stop at nothin'
To see you so I've started runnin'

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you

Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wasting my time
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you

You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind
So I'm runnin' back to tell you

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
Without you God knows what I'd do

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you

Heard this song on the radio and thought it was one of Daughtry's signature songs.
Somehow the songs he sings are all along the same theme and in the same style...but that's what makes his songs so recognizable.

Found some really nice quotes from Samantha's tumblr account.
So I took the ones that well....enough said. : )

Things aren't going right anymore, but I know it's just momentarily.
I echo what was said in cell group on Friday...

"Sometimes I wonder what life would be if I didn't know God. I can't even imagine what would happen."

I can.
I'd be dead by now without God. : )

A Tempest Beyond Measure...

2010-01-17T22:09:00.003+08:00

Augustana - Boston

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,

Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name.

This song has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it on American Idol a few days ago.
I think I just like the idea of going somewhere where no one knows my name, where no one knows me at all and start afresh.

I know I promised a new year's eve post, but it'll have to wait till maybe tomorrow.
Not in the right frame of mind to blog about anything much at the moment.

But...worship today was really awesome.
I believe God really encouraged and spoke through worship.
Nevertheless, as I continue to fluctuate...I believe clinging on to Him will eventually lead me to an exit from this incredibly long tunnel that I seem to be stuck in.

The most painful lesson you will ever learn is if there are people in life who mean the world to you and you'd even jump in front of a bullet for them...but they just won't do the same for you.
It hurts especially when the people you'd expect to be there for you are never there, but instead you're left all alone to crash and burn.
In this regard, God has been the only saving grace that has never left my side nor gone anywhere for that matter.

I've no idea what God is trying to teach me by allowing me to be placed in a situation of apparent loneliness, but it certainly means I need to hang on tighter to Him.
It's ironic when you need someone around, and no one is ever around.
I guess that's just the way life works. : )

I'll end today's post with some pictures.
Lerida gave me a pleasant surprise and appeared in church today!
Totally made my day.
Haven't seen her in AGES!

Brandon and Lerry @ Pan Cafe during lunch.

Ms Looi!

Lala-emo, as she calls it.

My rant buddies. : )

Still praying for a ray of sunlight somewhere.
Still praying for God to show me His purposes.
Still praying for more of Him.

And I believe it is possible to smile on the outside when the heart is breaking on the inside. He promised me.

This is me...Open for the World to See.

2010-01-14T21:33:00.005+08:00

During the period of 7 months post-graduation, yours truly was interning in an audit firm as well as with HSBC's Commercial Banking department.
Suffice to say, I've learned quite a fair bit and gained a lot of knowledge a classroom would have not otherwise provided.
I think my time at HSBC was more enjoyable, and I met really nice people.
So, this post is a tribute to them.

*Note: Pictures were taken on the 31st of December 2009, new year's eve. : )

HSBC Commercial Banking Sector, 10th floor.

New Year's Eve cheer at office! Drinks and tidbits.

Now that I've tried Whiskey, perhaps the next thing would be Vodka. : )

Suresh! He's the best boss I could ever ask for. Thank God for His blessings.

He was my supervisor from day 1.
Took me out for lunches, made sure I was taken care when he was on leave, and was very helpful in me completing all my tasks though he was one of the busiest relationship managers in the department.
His sense of humor was evident, and his absence certainly took the life out of the 'party' so to speak.
Thank you for being awesome! : )

Joon Huei! He's pretty cool for a dad no?

Was not really close with him at first.
In fact, I don't remember talking to him for the first month I was there.
But we started clicking when we went for lunches.
He's into online games, and I think his attitude somehow had a calming effect on those around him.
I think he's the best person to talk to when you're stressed.

Imran!

He was definitely one of the younger peeps over there.
Though we never spoke as often, but when we did...I could always feel a sense of trust.
I'd say we somehow could relate somewhat well. : )

Alexis!

She'll probably be the first one to greet you when you're new in the office, first one to smile at you, and sort of keep you chirpy and hyped up for the rest of the day.
She had this crazy side of her but yet combined with an attitude of sheer determination when it came to work.
Definitely someone you'd want in the office. : )

Zaida.

The typical party girl with an equally cheerful and bubbly personality.
I think the thing I'll remember most about her was the fact that I had to constantly transfer calls over to her when clients called. Haha! : )

Arvind!

Ah, my colleague and most of the time company during lunch hours when office went empty.
Also a part-timer, but on a longer term basis.

Ifa.

Tech support colleague.

I think the guys thought they were too macho to take a picture with me. Haha!
Unfortunately, I missed out quite a few people who were already on leave by the time I finished my internship.
But I guess it's the thought that counts.
Lets just say I miss the whole lot of them already.
I think their jokes kept me sane during those 2 months there, especially with all that was going on around me.
Heck, now it feels so...lonely.

Classes have begun, but there's a big disadvantage simply because I'm entering into 2 different levels at the same time.
I never really see the same people for any of the classes.
And though I've never really had a problem socializing, but starting over takes time and effort.
Perhaps it's a good thing, a fresh start...but if I had the chance, I would take a flight down to UK to complete my course and start life all over again.

God has been faithful.
I think above the whole turmoil and depression moments, He's kept me in check and He's always there.
That's probably the best thing about Him, that He never goes anywhere.
He never disappears and goes out of contact.

I was scrolling through my entire address book, but somehow everyone felt so distant and suddenly it felt as if I could not relate to anyone in my address book.
There are times when it still hurts so badly, but yet I bask in it.
Perhaps the very lesson that He's teaching me is to love when it hurts, to love unconditionally.

I've been trying so hard to be okay, trying so very hard...but I'm done denying that I'm not.
Somehow, I was made to do this and I will not deny it.
That doesn't mean I deny reality and stay stagnant.
Sometimes, loving a person requires you to let go because the other person deserves better.
To love, is to let go.

Above all, I've asked God what He wants me to learn from this experience.
Most importantly, I think I've learned to love Him unconditionally.
But I believe He's teaching me that the world will never understand such love, and when I see everyone else through His eyes of love...I'll learn to love unconditionally no matter what they throw at me or no matter the circumstances.
This experience no doubt happens naturally simply because this person is the dearest thing to my heart, but in the long term...I'll be able to love everyone around me regardless of status, colour, personality and to love unconditionally and accept them for who they are.

I believe God meant it in such a way that by going through the deepest pain of loving someone so dear and hitting a brick wall, I would be ready to love the people that society detests whom God might bring me into contact with in the future.
And perhaps I'll be able to spread God's love to those around by loving them for who they are and helping them through life, and to fulfill His purposes in my life.
Praise God for painful lessons in life.

Before I go, here's a poem from the book "How To Deal With Your Broken Heart" by Susan Tang which I've just finished reading for the second time.
I think the poem is really inspiring, and it talks about smiling when the heart is breaking down or even broken into sheer pieces.

"To smile when the heart is heavy
And all is full of ill
When the path of life is dull
And music's tongue is still
When the roses have all dropped and died
And their perfume now all spent
When streams dash madly, wildly on
With fury giving vent
When birds are silent in the trees
Beneath a sky cast grey
Yes, to smile when the heart is breaking
And joy has taken flight
Is ever a courageous thing
And so precious in God's sight."

[Anonymous]

Next post will on New Year's Eve.
Till then, this is goodbye.

PS: This post was supposed to be a dedication. Oops, I got carried away. My apologies for the long rants.

Of Popcorn and Carbonated Drinks...

2010-01-13T12:39:00.005+08:00

It has been a while since I've done any movie reviews.
I blame it partly on myself.
As far as I'm concerned, cinemas and shopping malls are the last places I want to be in right now.
However I did go out for certain movies, just the really anticipated and big ones.

So, it's that time for movie reviews.

Avatar.

And no, I didn't watch it in 3D.
But this movie promises a pretty good storyline with breathtaking scenaries that I'm sure will pretty much look awesome in 3D.
One of those rare 3 hour movies, but it was definitely worth not going to toilet during the whole period.

Verdict: 7.5/10
The movie was enchanting overall, and suffice to say definitely one of the better 3 hour movies that was worth the money.
The plot was equally done up pretty well.
Definitely recommended for people of all ages.

Synopsis can be found here.

Sherlock Holmes.

Based on very good reviews from certain trustworthy sources, I decided to catch this with Sean who was back from Australia.
The reviews were definitely correct in every sense, and the plot was probably the best part asides from the action that was happening all over the place.

Verdict: 8.5/10
A MUST WATCH!
Yes, probably one of the best verdicts in my personal opinion that I've given to a single movie.
I think what really enchanted me was how he analyzed ahead of time and came up to the deductions and explanations that apparently could only be explained by "magic".
It was so intriguing, that the movie just flew by and before you know it, it was over.
Those of you who love good plot shows, and who are fans of mysteries and investigations...this is definitely it.

Synopsis can be found here.

Those were about the 2 other movies that I've caught.
I think I've lost touch of the recent movies before those two, but I'm looking forward to a few upcoming 2010 movies.
Whether I'll have the time (or risk going to shopping malls) to catch them, is another thing altogether.
But I'll definitely watch these somehow or rather.

Ironman 2.

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief.

Legion.

2010 is starting off really well in terms of good movies that are upcoming.
Till my next update, this is Matt signing off.

In You I Trust...

2010-01-10T17:07:00.006+08:00

As they held in what seemed to be their last embrace, the autumn leaves fell in melancholic melody almost in chain reaction to the turn of events.
Time in its utter cruelty weaved and fabricated the moment into the past.

"Will I ever see you again?" was all he could muster in weak response to reality that now overwhelmed him.
As her hand slipped from his and replied simply "Maybe. I don't know."
It seemed like an eternity of separation and an abyss of uncertainty, but the near future now seemed to be separated by a valley the depth of a bottomless notion.
He watched as she turned her back and walked away into a chapter of broken dreams and hopes.

Leaving her a note, all he wrote was a simple sentence construed to convey every cell and sinew of his entire being that simply wrote...

"I realized that I can't change myself. My very essence has been made to always love you no matter what, even if it means loving you from wherever life takes us."

Sealed with the last teardrop, and perhaps the very last of his hopes...he relishes.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just a tinge of creativity that came to me. : )
On another note, church has been pretty good.
God has been really speaking to me through all the various forms of messages, encouragements, experiences, and inspirations that has been divinely sent to me from up above.

As college begins to pick up this coming week I can only know that in this uncertainty of life, God will be there every step of the way to guide me in every single step I take in life.
God's love is amazing, and the very fact that He continues to show me this love everyday is the best reason in the world to live all out.
We were given the gift of life by His sacrifice, and now this life will be given back through service to Him.

Trusting Him for the present, and the future. : )

Gentle Breeze, Sweet Fragrance...

2010-01-09T14:16:00.003+08:00

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmm...

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
I'm fine baby, how are you?
Well I would send them but I know it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home

Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will be all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home

~ Michael Buble

This song has been creeping out pretty often on my playlist.
I think the lyrics have a whole lot of meaning.
My definition of home.

Home, is where the heart is.

Phoenix: To Rise from the Ashes...

2010-01-05T17:14:00.006+08:00

Got this song from Elaine's blog.

Did you forget
That I was even alive
Did you forget
Everything we ever had
Did you forget
Did you forget
About me

Did you regret
Ever standing by my side
Did you forget
What we were feeling inside
Now I'm left to forget
About us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it

So now I guess
This is where we have to stand
Did you regret
Ever holding my hand
Never again
Please don't forget
Don't forget

We had it all
We were just about to fall
Even more in love
Than we were before
I won't forget
I won't forget
About us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it

Somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
At all

And at last
All the pictures have been burned
And all the past
Is just a lesson that we've learned
I won't forget
Please don't forget us

But somewhere we went wrong
Our love is like a song
But you won't sing along
You've forgotten
About us

I totally hate emo songs right now, but this one just caught my attention.
I'm reminded of fresh starts, and this song will be a reminder of another wonderful chapter in life which will definitely never be forgotten.
I'll never understand the logic of what has happened and why it did, but I'm sure God knows.
One thing's for sure...I want to become better, that I'll never be such a disappointment to anyone as much as I can ever again.

Thanks for the memories. XOXO!

How did we get here?

2010-01-04T18:12:00.006+08:00

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY ANDREW!

Yes, that's my brother.
He's growing into a fine young man, and I am proud of him in every single way imaginable.
Yes, we have our disagreements and the moments lacking maturity...but I believe God has HUGE plans for this lil guy.
This is for you!

Cheers!

The first Monday of the year started with orientation, and a very long one at that.
This feeling of being out of place, everyone just seems a lil young.

Some too gung-ho for their own good, some a lil withdrawn...but all still so young.
As much as being elected the team leader and mixing around a little here and there, this unshakable feeling was still there.
There are times when you're surrounded by tonnes of people, but yet you feel all so alone and lonely.

I'm praying that things will become better and that God will continue to be there.
After all, it's only the first day.
We're all afraid of change, but sometimes God brings change to take us out of the comfort zone and introduce us to newer things, to achieve greater heights...

I just can't help but wished she was here as I opened another important chapter in life.
As I stepped into adulthood, she was there.
When I started my first official "job", she was there.
When I graduated with a degree in my hands, she was there.

Through the short moments, she's been through important phases in my life.
And how I wished that things didn't have to turn out the way they did.
As I set down during lunch hour today, I realized that absence that has constantly been gnawing at me continued to plague me.

So many people around me, and I realized how empty and lonely one could get despite being among people.
Even surrounded by people around you, there was still a big gap...

Yet...God made me realize that He was there even before I was born and He is always there.
I realized I had allowed myself to forget my Maker, my Creator, my best friend, the One person who has never let me down.
Earthly life seems pretty meaningless now, but I realize that I have a Heavenly home...a mission to complete on Earth before I move on.
This mission was the driving purpose that kept me going from past time even till now.

She was the first person whom I've learned to lavish unconditional love upon...
But God will always be the One whom I will depend on for all things.
Even as I start off this new chapter in life, I realized that it is indeed time to grow up and mature.
This unconditional love, belongs to her.

But I will always know that God will always be that source of which I draw this love from, and He is exactly who I will always turn to...for His love is the ultimate unconditional love.
Naturally, humans are never perfect and I realize now that if you put so much hope and expectations...the tendency to be hurt is there.
As humans the tendency is to expect, and yet I would love to run the opposite direction.
Men will always disappoint, but God will never disappoint.

I'm hoping that even as I start off this new year afresh, everything else will begin and a new beginning will emerge.
I will let this broken heart heal again, and protect it from its very fragile state.
This is my hope, that when this heart has healed completely and learned to beat again...that I will go all out and do great exploits to the person who gave it all for me...

My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

PS: How to Deal with Your Broken Heart by Susan Tang is a good read. Mum's making me read it all over again. Lets hope it helps. : )

Unconditional Love...

2010-01-03T22:28:00.002+08:00

Hello!

It's been a lil busy this weekend, hence the New Year's post has yet to be posted up.
But I assure you, that the post will come somewhere this coming week.
There's a lot of updates to be done, but bear with me kay?

Till then, I leave with this meaningful excerpt I got from One Tree Hill a while ago.

"I believe love conquers all. Sure love isn't easy and there will be hard times, but having someone who is there and who understands makes it all the more easier."

So much for my happy ending. : )

Of Thanksgiving and Gratitude...

2010-01-01T17:33:00.006+08:00

So, the New Year is finally here.

My response to that would be one of relief, thanksgiving, and hope.
2009 has truly been another roller-coaster year.
I can't imagine it being any different to the past few years, except that it was a whole lot bumpier and at the same time exciting.

Without a reason for the season, Christmas would probably have been ruined.
Without my reason to live, well...

Enough said.

Suffice to say, I'm really glad 2009 has come to an end.
Looking back, there are so many things I wished I had done/not done and not gotten myself into such fixes.
Then again, I also can see so many instances where I can thank God for His grace and His goodness throughout the year.

I'll always remember the different moments in the year either because of its mountaintop highs, or just plain deep depressing moments.
All I know is, God has been really good regardless of all that has happened.
And I believe that He is still in control, and in 2010...greater things shall be accomplished all to the glory of His name.

Some of the highlights in 2009 include:

Representing Malaysia to the English Business Talk in Singapore.
Graduated with a Degree in my hands.
Went through a very painful growing up process throughout the year.
Stepped into the adult world and realized the responsibilities and requirements that came with it.
Had a taste of what the working world would feel like.

And those are just among some of the highlights of the year.
Overall, it didn't end too well...but God has definitely been faithful.
I thank God everyday for His continued faithfulness and His ever present help in life.
Life may not be smooth, and there are times where I've even lost my focus...but somehow everything always points back to Him.

If I listed down the lessons I've learned throughout the year, this post might probably never end.
Nevertheless, it's made me a smarter, and hopefully a better person.

And as I look forward to 2010 I realize what matters is not how much money you make, the magnitude of what you've done, nor is it how much you THINK you've accomplished...

But what matters are always the people who are around you, the relationships and friendships that you've come to know and love in life.
The year itself presented many losses in different forms...
So I say, even as life in itself is unpredictable and short, too many a times I realize that I take it forgranted.

Instead of displaying arrogance, I'll start this year by committing every step of the way to God and all the plans laid out...that God willing they shall be done.
I learn to appreciate the people around me, and not take them forgranted.
Let this new year be a fresh start for me, and for you readers out there...

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools,
The way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more; it is a tale,
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

William Shakespeare

If life is indeed short, then carpe diem it shall be!
Seize the moment, live life to the max.
And in my case...every moment to be lived to my full potential for God.
I've lost all will to live and the only reason left to live is God.
And if He gave His all for me when He sent His Son, the only rightful thing would be to give all of me to serve Him.

No resolutions for me, but instead...I pray that God will reveal more of Himself and the plans ahead.
Resolutions are almost never kept, for me personally anyway.
So it was a new year's prayer this time, a prayer to be better...to never lose focus on Him.

Live for God, live for the moment...
Know what is important, appreciate those around you.
Reach out for your dreams and your destination, but don't forget to enjoy the journey.
Take what you can in life, and seize every moment and opportunity you have.

...But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead ~ Philippians 3:13(b).

I pray that the year 2010 will be fulfilling for you, as I am very sure it will be for me.
And to end this year, here's a video clip I thought really captured what mattered to me.
Enjoy!

'Tis the Season to be Jolly...

2010-01-01T15:55:00.005+08:00

Happy New Year!
It's the year 2010!

But...
Before I do my official first post of the year, this post will be a long post of updates!
It's been long overdue and the first part of this post dates back to the 28th of November 2009!

So, bear with me.

First up...pictures from the final day of the musical preparation at Monfort Boys Town!

Final Day Presentation - 28th of November 2009

Pre-presentation practices.

Angle #1.

Angle #2.

Post-presentation.

With the now-migrated Debbie. You are missed...

Adam's Wedding - 29th November 2009

A close friend of ours finally took the plunge and tied the knot.
Held at The Club, it was a pretty good event with good food.
One of the rare occasions when the couple are still in their early 20's.
A good wake up call for me.
Somehow was reminded that life is indeed short; breathe in every breath as if it were your last, go with the flow and do the things that make you happy...cause life is short and unpredictable that way.

I guess someone will be sleeping very soundly now that it's all confirmed and done with. : )

Their throne for the night.

Dinner table for the newlyweds.

Here they are.

A close-up view.

The scrumptious food set before us.

And the flower boy. : )

Further pictures are available on facebook links as listed below.

Facebook Link

Debbie's Farewell - 4th December 2009

It was just a week or two before Debbie and the family migrated off to Australia.
Hence, the Harvest Crew had a farewell dinner for her at Jaya One.

Shot #1.

Shot #2.

Yours truly's dinner for the night.

Again, more links on facebook.
Too many pictures to upload onto the blog.

Facebook Link

APYAC Night Concerts 11th-12th December 2009

Venue: GTPJ

Managed to go for the night sessions and catch the concerts.
Life changing and definitely gave me a new direction.
Reinforced what I really am on Earth for.
Now, to just overcome circumstances and anything else that hinders to achieve it.

Juwita Suwito was one of the guest singers.

Wooo, colours.

Dancers of the opening act.

A second shot.

A representative from each Asia Pacific nation for the final night's worship dance. : )

Here they are in action.

Symbolical act of passing on the 'cross'.

As the baton was passed on to the next generation for the nations.

The final night was pretty much an act that signifies reaching out to the nations.
Much was spent in prayer and sowing to reach out to the nations for God.
It was a defining moment; in the End Times, much is needed to be done.
Reach out!

Only managed to get a shot with Andrea, despite meeting so many other people there. Regret that I didn't managed to take any other shots with anyone else.

Harvest Crew's Christmas Party - 19th December 2009

Venue: Pek See's - Taman Yarl, OUG.

The setting.

The queue for dinner.

Food, food, food!

Malaysians' favourite pasttime. And it was all homecooked. Yums...

What you see is grilled chicken and potatoes with blackpepper sauce. All courtesy of the hostess, and boy was it good.

Table #1: Clockwise - Kor kor Yat Nam, Nicole, Steph, Shar Mein, & Andrew.

Table #2 too busy with food for the camera.

Table #3. Say cheese...

Table #4.

Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of table #5 and some other missing people. My apologies.

Games!

When things started getting really competitive. : )

Debating with the judge. Hilarious reasoning.

Rawr! Here we go!

Final shot!

The night ended with a skit, a short sharing, and the exchange of gifts.
Carols were probably the best part. : )

Cousins Reunite - 26th December 2009

This was the second time the whole bunch of us met up, whereby the first time was missed by yours truly due to...work.
Nasty.
Don't have much pictures, but the rest are on facebook.
Needless to say, it was really good to see all of them again.

Venue was at Sunway Pyramid, where it was nothing but talk, cameras, and a whole lot of camwhoring involved.

Li Anne and Emily hogging the Christmas tree.

Emily going all vainpot on my handphone.

Rest of the pictures are over in Facebook!
Click click!

Facebook Link #1
Facebook Link #2

That would be all for this post.
Most of the pictures are in Facebook, so thankfully all you gotta do is click and browse.
Next post will be New Year's Eve and New Year's.

Stay tuned!

Happy 2010 people!

Standing on the Edge...

2009-12-26T00:08:00.003+08:00

Christmas has just finished.
If I have not wished any of you...

BLESSED CHRISTMAS!

The days leading up to this year's Christmas spelled much pain in the process of growing up.
Christmas just kinda reminded me that it really isn't about me...but it's about Christ.
I guess the human tendency is to look at the circumstances and be overwhelmed.
It is definitely time to get the focus back.

Prayers have been answered though.
Through the gifts, God really knew how and when to bless.
He's really amazing.

Though life has been really dark recently, but God keeps me going.
It just feels so pathetic to have to be constantly reminded, but this is my weakness.
Lets hope over time, I improve myself in this aspect.

On another note...

This week is the last week of the internship.
January, a new chapter of life begins when I head back to college.
Can't say that I'm looking forward to it now either.
Life has been so incredibly turbulent over the couple of years, and there are times when I wonder if I'll ever be able to just have a stretch of good days without a nasty one.

But...if there's anything I know, it is part of the character building process.
Broken hearts, tears, pain, torture, and the ultimate destination of depression always knocks on the door of my life.
Then again...it draws me back to God through the pain.

There will definitely be a year end post.
Just wondering how to celebrate New Year's eve this year.
Definitely considering catching the fireworks from somewhere not crowded...

Well, another post on updates should be up soon with the pictures.
But till then, gonna try and refrain from posting up too many posts.
Negativity isn't good for the soul. : )

I'm not okay.
So don't ask if you know already because you'll always get this answer...

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'll be fine."

And no...
Don't tell me that "everything will be fine" cause at the moment...it will never seem that way.
There are other ways of being there, and too many times have I been disappointed by the phrase "Don't worry. Everything's gonna be alright."
Not when you knew at that very moment that it wasn't...

Philippians 3:12 - Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

Philippians 3:13 - Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead.

Philippians 3:14 - I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called heavenward in Christ Jesus.

PS: Christmas message today concluded with this verse...
Jeremiah 31:3 - The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."
Thank God for His unfailing love.

Another Heartbreak, Another Chance to Grow...

2009-12-24T06:14:00.004+08:00

Another turning point in life.
And oh how I remembered telling myself that I never wanna experience this again.
But life is full of risks, and when I gave it my all I opened myself to that same pain and once again here I am.

I must say, it feels far more magnified than previous heartaches.
Just another chapter in life?
Closure...but I'll let time take its toll.

I never saw this coming.
Surprised?
Actually, no.

Priorities have been reshuffled.
No reason to open up again.
But reason to trust God that all things will fall into place.

4 hours of sleep will have to get me through today.
And it's Christmas eve today, the irony.
Yet, I still know my reason for the season.
As much as this has been the most painful Christmas eve, I know Christmas will be the turning point.

I've had enough heartbreaks to last me a lifetime.
Love can be so painful, but yet we were made to love.
Only God's perfect love can be of any standard to depend on.

But for now, it's just God and me on this road.
When everything else fails, God remains faithful.
Wake up call, but He will keep me going.
Thank You Lord for teaching me lessons through heartbreaks.

Time to pick up the pieces.
God knows how long I'll take scouring around for the tiny fragments that have been scattered.
But one thing I do know...I've got a God who is bigger than any circumstances.
Life may be a roller-coaster, but He's the operator and He's in-charge.

This Christmas will definitely be interesting.

Love is overrated.
God is underrated.

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the change to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Drops of Jupiter - Train

~ As the night peaked at its darkest, the light shone the brightest.

A million pieces...

2009-12-21T22:47:00.003+08:00

Ever wanted to go far away and start afresh?
To a distant place where you know nobody, and nobody knows you.
When a clean slate is given, and everything else is forgotten.
Breathtaking scenery, fresh mountain air, and a starry night sky to greet you?

I know I do.

All I want for Christmas...is you.

2009-12-15T20:40:00.005+08:00

I just realized the last post was on the 1st of December.

Yesh, I know.
Working has made me a sloth.
I also blame it on my life which has become rather un-happening.
Hence, I need to keep my blog active somehow.

I promise, a proper blog post will be updated soon.
I keep saying that, but I am gonna ensure it happens soon kay?
Don't give up on me just yet.

Christmas is approaching and I thank God every year that I celebrate it knowing that it was the most historic moment in time, that defining moment that changed the course of mankind from eternal damnation, into a purposeful life and an eternal destiny in heaven.

However, just as I do every year...I thought of putting up a Christmas wish list.
But...this year I realize it is the simple things in life that truly make me happy (not to mention more realistic too).
So, here we go...

1. A blackberry storm!

Been wanting one of these for quite a while.
Reason: I've been using my phone for 5-6 years now, and I have this liking for the blackberry series. Not a necessity though. Learning to be contented with what I have.

2. An iPod.

Doesn't quite matter which, as long as it functions as a music player.
Reason: Using the phone as a temporary music player doesn't work, not when it eats up so much of the battery.

3. A new pair of futsal shoes.

Doesn't matter which either, as long as it's nice. *grins*
Reason: Obviously I need a new pair since my current ones are well...have been used rather too much.

4. A nice organizer.
Reason: It's time to be disciplined and get my daily life into order. More for time management purposes, and I believe that this is one of those changes that I'm making. My imperfection; work-in-progress.

5. A bag that would fit both the working & studying world.
Reason: Just cause I need to look professional. : )

Only 5 on my wish list.
Last year I had 10, but again they were pretty much unrealistic.
Lets just say I cherish the simple things in life and it is indeed the little things that make me happy.
Materialistic isn't really in my dictionary (though it seems that way a lil).

I believe heavenly treasures are what matters most.
There's the other wishes such as salvation of loved ones and friends, that scholarship that I'm still praying for, and some other things.
Those will stay between God and me.

And yet all I want for Christmas is you...

Things have been tough.
Life has sorta had a huge blip, and took me for a roller-coaster ride.
God has been faithful, and I can safely say with assurance the worse is over.
When everything else seems hopeless, God is hope.
And there is absolutely nobody who guarantees just that except Him, and I can safely say that I'm becoming better and I am absolutely confident in whom I put my trust and faith; the One who holds my future.

Till the next post, I bid you au revoir.
Here's to a good week ahead!

According to you...

2009-12-01T20:45:00.002+08:00

Hello!

Life's been mundane at times, but I'm slowly finding my way back.
Work has been pretty uneventful lately.
I really wished I could learn more, but I'm afraid I might finish off the internship not taking anything much with me.
I guess the only reason would be that extra value it brings to the CV.

Here's the line I thought I would never say...

I miss studying, and I absolutely cannot wait for college to begin in January.

I've resigned myself to abstain from the big screens for a while.
Perhaps downloading would be good for now.
There are a few "to-watch" on my list, but...

...

Anyway, Christmas should be good.
I guess this Christmas will be a really good reminder of the one Person who gave everything for me and Who loved and expected nothing in return.
Doubt anyone has that kinda capacity, though there will be people who are like that...a few anyway.
Christmas...probably the most important date in my yearly calendar.

I promise more updates will come up by the end of this week.
I'll get the pictures uploaded, and hopefully the rest of the pictures will be uploaded on Facebook by the respective people with the cameras.
I guess till then, this is it.

Sometimes, I'm tired of pretending everything is alright.
The only difference is I have God right here...